Seeds for a happy planet

Somewhere during Sunday morning, we had another generative dialogue, which of course built on all the previous ones.

Again there was our metaphor of the mycelium:

A definition: Fungal de-composition is the job of the mycelium, a vast network of underground cells that permeate the soil. The mushroom itself is the fruit of the mycelium.

If the ‘I’ is the mushroom or the fruit and the ‘We’ is like the mycelium… Who am I when I drop my separate identity? Frightening thought maybe, but on the other hand, it was happening right in our midst. Different voices in the circle said: “I don’t want to go back! (to old structures and separateness)”. There is excitement in the ‘not-knowing’; of going to that place, of being pregnant with what we have not known before. We must create a new way from there. How can we bring clear outgoing energy and still be connect to Source? How will we be fully alive while being pregnant, while not knowing what we will birth?
“What is real right now – here?” asked somebody else.

We came to see that women had been given away so much of our lifeblood. As we are so much identified with the collective and with relations, we tend to loose ourselves in it. “Pull it in” was one way of naming the way to go; “draw back in the lifeblood we have given away”. Our primary relation is with Source, and not with others or outside ourselves. Being connected with Source is self-generative and will not deplete our energies.

“The future is already here! The collective She is present. We are her voice.” Les gave an eloquent contribution about the ‘self-generating fire storm’. And suddenly there was a big YES!

Probably there was much more, but these are the things that I remember…

It is difficult to remember what were all the things that happened on our third day together. It was again so rich, inspiring and beautiful.

Some of us decided to greet and honor the sunrise, and they ended up doing it in the hot tub. This was a luxury I enjoyed the evening before, with a splendid view lit by the almost full moon; when all the others were already gone to bed or to their rooms.

“It was a beautiful morning, the sun coming up over the distant ridge of mountains, and the moon behind, up the hill through the trees.” (Judy)

Later in the day Wendy would recall that it was not possible to see them both at once, but if you turn inwards then it is possible to have a sense or an experience of both. Did you ever think of that?

I can’t remember what exactly is the chronology of that day, but I do know that we decided to do an Appreciative Inquiry Walk after lunch, around a situation of ‘moving the edge’. The question was: What did you do that made it happen? The harvest of these conversations in pairs was again something that brought us deeper into our joint inquiry. Moving the edge happens when:

- there is a compulsion; when your integrity doesn’t allow to act in another way. In this way it holds the paradox of being conscious of ‘some’ consequences of your choice and the feeling of not having any choice.
- there is no point of reference that you can rely on

- it ‘had’ to be expressed
- we leave our separateness and join others, without questions or judgments
- there is an energy of “Let’s do it!” (in alignment with Source) instead of “Do it!”
- the outcome could not be anticipated beforehand
- there is a letting go, a giving up of control
- a not holding back: it asks for courage and honesty
- you have a sense of something ‘from somewhere else’ coming through you
- you live the energy of the Fool (tarot cards): it looks like stepping forward will lead to death, but not doing it will lead to another form of death

It wasn’t the first time we talked about it but the experience of giving birth was exactly this! Women’s way of being alive, every month ‘forced’ by nature to go along with Life, with no control over it, seems to make us more connected with Life, earth and matter; and the inherent ‘push’ of Life energy. Being on the edge in this way seems quite familiar… I think this experience makes women – on average – more open to a kind of subtle energies which are different than the mental knowing, but are needed to a get full ‘understanding’.

Judy’s reflections: “In recalling my own story, I remembered the ‘letting go’ that had to happen in my moving the edge experience. I remembered how hard that was, but when I did, then there was an openeing, and the ‘letting come’ flowed so naturally, so effortlessly. I also recalled on one occassion the buildup of tension that preceded the ‘lettting go’. Like something going to explode inside me, about to erupt, not going to wait any longer. Really like Life coming through me, there was no holding back. I also recall related and less explosive times where discernement, and the subtle knowing that is required, came into play. The knowing when to speak and when to remain silent, discerning when to lead or step forward, and when to just be with another.”

Like in the first Women Moving the Edge by lunchtime it was time for us, facilitators, to lean back and give the leadership to the whole group. Meantime it was pouring rain outside, so much so that we couldn’t even see the trees on the other side of the grass field.

And what did we do? If I would give a bullet list of all the different activities you could never understand the depth of what happened. We had some silence, there was conversation, we did a presencing-movement exercise; we danced ‘the Temple dance’; we sat in circle again. There was the sound of the big crystal bowl, we made sound and music together…

But I can’t hardly describe what happened in us and in between us. First it was named as a not-knowing, and later also as a not-talking… but then, what is it?
We seem to listen, to tune into, to sense…
into what?
the delicate, the subtle, the fine, the intangible…

It seems to be possible to access – in our bodies – the unformed, the unmanifest…
the sound of silence…

silence…

collective silence…

suddenly it was there:

a connected silence;

a tangible in-between space;

a sacred space;

a space full of possibilities;

a generative space…

Grace had arrived! The We is pregnant!
And you know what? Rain stopped, the mist was gone, we could see again the trees and the whole environment!

The magic here continued. When we got up this morning there was fog all around. The hills on the other side of the valley were not visible anymore. The simple question of What is present now? brought a very rich conversation around the theme of What is feminine power?

The metaphor of the mycelium, what we normally think of as the roots of the mushrooms, is actually the plant in itself and the mushrooms are its ‘flowers’. In my drawing of our conversation I noted a lot of the words that make up our mycelium: gentleness, safety, holding, enlivening, equality, talking stone, the earth, the collective… Stories about shame, fear, rage and sadness… these personal stories who pop up from the collective, just like the mushrooms…

The conversation shifted to: purpose, power, presence. What does it mean to stand in my feminine power, and not to retreat or not to attack? What is feminine power? Is ‘feminine warriorship’ the right word? Can we let go of the old women’s story? Are we present in and to ourselves, or are we ‘over there’… From where do we engage with the others or the world?

Sooooo rich!!! The words here can hardly convey the energy, the presence, the learning, the laughter and so much more! Time to have a break and eat some wonderful nuts.

Judy and I both felt that this were enough words. We invited Eve-Marie to guide us in an experiment with drawing, using colors. That was basically it: use colors and let them take over, drop your mind and your judgments, come to the still point in your body, just go with the colors and the movement they evoke. “It is just paper.” “What would a four year old do now?” These were some of the questions that seduced us to a no-mind space, the space of creativity. I loved to come to this point where it was just the fun of let my hand move with the colors. Being present with the colors. Good stuff to come to an open mind!

In the sharing there was someone who recalled to invitation at the beginning of the drawing exercise to drop yourself into the still-point within… this still point is so full of freedom; it carries all potential! My sense is that it has to do a lot with the power of women…

Judy and I arrived today at noon at Angels Rest; a beautiful place with a beautiful name. You can feel, sense and see the care that has been used to create this place. We have our gathering in a huge space, which was probably a barn in former years. There is a very big window facing south-east with a splendid view.

I was amased by the richness and the depth of what was said in our first circle. The introduction was really minimal: half hour of movement and dance to become present in our bodies; followed by a welcome word and a little introduction into the gathering and about circle practice.

In this first afternoon we also shared the questions we all brought to the circle. Here they are as an example of the richness of the field that was gathered:

How can we deepen our sense of collectivity and honor difference?

How do we hang out in messiness and let it be OK?

What is the omnicentric leadership? How can we do that?

How can we be with wholeness, let go of control?

How can we be consciously in the world with the future emerging through us?

How can we let life happen and not be in the way?

What are the deep assumptions that we hold about ownership?

What is feminine warriorship?

How can we integrate the life enriching energies that lie in both ownership/entrepreneurial ventures and community initiatives?
Such a richness, competence and passion is gathered here!

Do we really see that? Are we conscious about what this could create? I truly doubt it… but I trust life and I fully trust the process. I think some magic will happen.

Part of the magic are three crystal bowls, brought by different participants, which make the most amazing, resonant sounds… I wish you could hear them…

All photos here.

It has been a long time since I did some blogging… but here I am again. I’m sitting here in the Boston area, in a newly painted home, some boxes still unpacked… sunrays falling through the autumn leaves outside… It is good living here, being hosted by my friend Judy, with whom I will facilitate the workshop or gathering ‘Women Moving the Edge’ from tomorrow on.

We took our time over the last two days to settle in into this emergent work. There aren’t a lot of exercices or theories to be prepared, it is more a way of getting into the right ‘space’, sensing what is the deeper purpose and intention; getting aligned between the two of us; sensing into this particular group of participants.

I love to do this kind of work; although it is hardly ‘work’ for me. It is more like a way of living, of being in the world: living a life ‘on the edge’. You might be wondering what that is… There are many entry points to start some explanation about it, and I am sure it will never be linear.

One element is living with an open mind, an intention to be constantly in learning, to enjoy the moments that I become aware that my thinking was limited, was stuck ‘in a box’, to constantly live with and in questions that really matter.

Another element is living with an open heart. Many might say that they do that also – I don’t doubt that – but for me it means that I try to overcome my sense of seperatedness. I am not a defined person that can live on its own. I exist – or: I come into being – in the ‘space in-between’, between you and me; between the trees and me; between the house and me… our language feels too small here, too limited as it uses ‘nouns’ who then can ‘do’ something, but it doesn’t give us a language for expressing the mutuality, the becoming that is happening all moments… Wouldn’t it be great to have this language where threes are named by the sound they make as the wind moves its leaves?

Living on the edge means also to be open to ‘the greater will’, to live your unique gift, to speak the right words on the right time and otherwise to be silent; to live as if always ready to die – no actions or words left for later.

This is more or less what we will try to accomplish in three days with 9 women who don’t know each other beforehand. Wondering how it will be different than the same kind of gathering we had earlier this year in Belgium. My hunch is that the listening, the openess to the subtle realities will be a little more difficult; but maybe that is my prejudice…

Why women? Not from a feminist perspective, but to add some deeper awarenesss to our feminine gifts that are so needed in our world. I want to go to the heart, the essence of being feminine. The better we understand, we ‘get it’, the easier to bring it into the outside world. I think that is my gift to bring to the world…

“Dear Friends,

This is the time for the emergence of a new feminine archetype. I call it the “feminine cocreator.” As we have fewer children and live longer lives, as the world heads into its “crisis of birth” of a new humanity, this feminine cocreator is arising. We are giving birth to the authentic feminine self and our work in the world because it is necessary for the survival and thriving of our very species.”

This is the first paragraph of an email send out by Barbara Max Hubbard (visionary, futurist, author) to announce the Women’s Wisdom Conference: Touching Greatness, Igniting Purpose and Passion, and also the book The Power of Yin.

Just now – today – when I want to announce the second Women Moving the Edge gathering, which I host and organise with Judy Wallace from the US. This is the first paragraph from our invitation:

“A purposeful gathering of conscious women who will:
• explore and move the edge of what it means to know, sense, and be our emergent collective future potential
• hold, embrace, and birth the unfolding wholeness together
• and in this process of discovery co-create new grooves in consciousness beyond our individual and collective edge

In this gathering we will not only explore the edge, we will be it, we will do it. Our world requires of us the courage to open, to engage, to inquire, to suspend, and to explore beyond what we think we know. Together we will co-create and be the vessel to awaken the inter-subjective “We”, the Being who comes alive through all of us together, who awaits our invitation to bring collective leadership into the world.”Although they are both about The Power of Yin, the difference is that the first format is about ‘Presenters’ and the second one is about ‘Participants’…

This is the theme of the last issue (July-September 2007) of What Is Enlightenment?, a magazine published by EnlightenNext, the group of people around Andrew Cohen. Although I’m not really a fan of Andrew, and I certainly don’t agree with a lot of what he is saying around this subject, there is still a lot of value to read in this magazine.

Here is part of an Interview with Tenzin Palmo (author and Tibetan Buddhist nun), in which I find a lot of inspiring quotes. It will definitely influence my – and our – thinking around the next women’s gathering we are preparing for the fall. It will again be called: Women Moving the Edge. When the invitation is ready, you will find it on my website.

Tenzin Palmo: … We have to become strong instead of always exerting this needy sense of wanting. And in order to do that we need to develop the side of ourselves that we normally consider to be male. Not the aggressive side, but the confident side that conceives that if we wish to do something, it is possible for us to do it.

WIE: Are there other challenges that women particularly face in fulfilling the potential we now have?

Tenzin Palmo: One of the most significant problems is that women don’t support other women. This is a very ironical situation, and it has kept women weak throughout time. We support each other in little ways, but when it comes down to it, we will always hand it over to the guys.

WIE: One of the great early feminists in America, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, observed that women will often undermine other women, particularly those who take the lead and stand out.

Tenzin Palmo: Exactly! And if we are really going to be a power and a voice in this world, we have to stand solidly behind each other and not get caught up in factionalism and jealousy. Until we’re aware of that, it won’t change. …. I mean, we don’t respect each other. We don’t trust each other, why should anyone else value us? If women really held hands together, we would be a terrific power.

WIE: You’re implying that we could create a very different kind of society and world.

Tenzin Palmo: Society has to change, doesn’t it? By rights, we should be a tremendous power for good, because look at where we’re headed. But whether or not we will be that force of goodness depends solely on us. Unless we have a radical change in our consciousness, in our understanding of what is genuinely important, and in our way of relating to each other and to ourselves, the whole world is heading for disaster. Women, after all, are half the human race, but when we put each other down snidely, which we so often do, it keeps us weak and disempowered. And we have to deal with it because, unless we all stand together, our fragmentation denies us a real platform to stand on. We aren’t half the human race then. We’re just little groups scattered here and there. For the first time in millennia, women could have a very strong voice. And presumably, it would be a different voice.

WIE: What do you think that voice should say?

Tenzin Palmo: I think it should say that this lifetime is very, very precious and we shouldn’t waste it. Women have this great opportunity, and if we are conscious of it, then we will fulfill that potential. And if we’re not, then we will mess things up, just as men have done throughout history. We have to stand up and take a deep breath and look in our own hearts and ask ourselves what we really think is important and what we really want to do with this lifetime and then do it. The thing is that we can go astray if we’re not very careful, because you never know with women. We have to realize our strengths and our weaknesses and this lack of mutual support.
So we will see what happens in the next fifty or one hundred years as women begin to wake up and start to flex their muscles. And hopefully, we’ll begin to see that, just  as our imprisonment in samsara is caused by our own self-delusion, the problems for women are caused by women. Therefore the solution is in our hands. We don’t have to wait for men to change their attitudes. It’s up to us to change our attitudes, and that’s hopeful because, as with everything, the problem is never out there. It’s always in here.

Here we are, three women friends and myself, driving 2,5 hour to gather with other, unknown women to meet around the question: “What is the role of women in an evolutionary context?”