Archive for the ‘wholeness of knowing’ Category

Living wholeness

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

It has been a while since I wrote my last blog post in English. In the meantime there was the Art of Hosting happening here in Dutch, with lots of related activities and I just returned a few days ago from Greece. I was at Axladitsa, the Learning Center, initiated by Maria Scordialou and Sarah Whiteley. The first few days I was part of their landweek, helping out on the land and in the garden. We fenced the newly planted vines and cleared some more space around the house and what will become the next extension of the vegetable garden.


After this work outside we gathered with the hosting team – the three of us and Judy Wallace – to prepare for the collective inquiry: The Edge of Collective Sourcing. Below you find the document we put together on this day, right before the participants were arriving. You will see, it is a work in progress, not all points have flesh to the bones (yet).

LIVING WHOLENESS – Through the Practice of Collective Sourcing

This is wisdom generated by two ‘partnerships’, which have been inquiring into Collective Sourcing for some years. We have attentively been watching what happens when our will is opened intentionally – besides our mind and heart – and is held and practiced collectively. It evokes real emergence, whereby something totally new arises.
Partners are Maria Scordialou and Sarah Whiteley, who founded Axladitsa, a learning center in Greece that is researching Living Wholeness in action. Other partners are Ria Baeck and Judy Wallace who initiated the training Women Moving the Edge, which will soon have its sixth iteration.

The whole is getting bigger
In order to live fully in a world with more complexity and ever more uncertainty, we know that we have to go beyond what we already know. Whatever context we find ourselves in – the corporate world, public sector, non-profits or engaging in our communities – we need to learn to hold many levels of paradox, conflict and disturbance. It is our basic assumption that the whole that we need to live into and embrace is getting bigger and bigger. We have to include all the wholes that we already know of and transcend them.

New Human Capacity

To live this wholeness we need new practices, new organizational patterns, new ways of planning etc. In general we need to activate a new human capacity. A capacity that sees the world more in terms of organisms and ecosystems instead of organizations.
In the gathering, the Edge of Collective Sourcing we are building or activating this new human capacity: the capacity to collectively hold both the highest question and the deepest sourcing. It is innovating a new collective practice, a secular practice. It is removed from new age kinds of spirituality and removed from ‘normal’ religious practices.
This new capacity is also a shift from being an individual to being of service to and through the collective – whatever that is.  Our point of gravity will shift from being ‘me in relation to the collective’ – the old way of communal – to a new expression of ‘being the collective’ or ‘being part of an ecosystem’.

Judy and Gabriele enjoying the sun

The field of potential in need of us
We came to see that there is a collective field, a collective presence, or a collective potential that exists in itself before we gather(ed). It is not us individuals coming together and then creating ‘this field’ between us. The field with its huge potential to manifest newness was probably guiding us to come together in the first place. The field is in need of us, human beings, to make it visible and to make its potential manifest. It is only through us that it can be embodied and can result in wise actions.

We can see each individual in the circle as holding a pole of awareness, being in inner alignment. In between the poles – and in the awareness of it – the field becomes tangible. The program Edge of Collective Sourcing invites participants to practice this double awareness while doing it collectively, for collective purposes.

Restoring Balance
One of the aspects of the whole that is getting bigger in our consciousness is moving beyond our ‘global village’ to ‘being a part in the ecosystem of the Earth’. In other words, we aim to restore the balance between ‘being Citizens of the World’ and ‘being Inhabitants of the Earth’, because as both we constantly interact and mutually influence at the same time.


We build on three mental models that have given us deeper insights and a framework to make sense of our many deep experiences. We assume you are familiar with these models, as we only speak about a specific piece of each of them.

Spiral Dynamics
Spiral Dynamics is a developmental model to see how societies, organizations, tribes – all collectives – evolve over time, depending on the environment they are in.
Our practice of Collective Sourcing is a second tier practice, and has distinctions from the Green level – also collective – and the Yellow level. We are developing and prototyping a Turquoise practice in which this new way of being in the collective is in service – or in alignment – with the Earth, all this from a perspective of the bigger whole, which is the universe.

Collective Sourcing is, in the language of Scharmer, a field 4 practice. The difference is maybe that we are very explicit that this is a collective practice. Although it is quite implicit in Scharmer’s theory that this generative space is where ‘I exist, because you are’. It is the consciousness where you live in a constant mutual exchange with other human beings. We add to that the constant mutual exchange with place and non-human beings.
It is also where we live in the space of Open Will, besides of course, the Open Mind and Open Heart. Collective Sourcing is living in this Open Will collectively.

Art of Hosting
From the Art of Hosting community we take the pattern that we saw emerging and which we named The Fifth Paradigm. This pattern takes the known organizational forms of Circle, Triangle, Hierarchy/Bureaucracy and Network to a next level where all core elements are integrated into a new organism, fitting our new wholeness.


(I have been writing different pieces of this model over the last months/years. Soon more will follow, you can find an article about it on EvolutionaryNexus).
Creating from Source
Living the Turquoise level seems to us also about ‘seeing and acknowledging what is’ and creating from and with the potential. Giving form to Spirit, or creating Spirit on Earth, is to create from Source. A partnership with Source allows us to create beauty.

Wholeness of Knowing

“What if words aren’t the medium?”

Stone beauty

“I remember speaking vividly about the difference of feminine knowing and masculine knowing. It was more a showing than a speaking actually! Masculine knowing is taking a step back (see me stepping away from the experience, it its talking about something, it is building a concept after the facts… Feminine knowing (not to be confused with women’s knowing! Men know this too!) is knowing IN the experience (see me stepping into the center again). It is about ‘getting something’ while drawing you never understood before; or ‘getting’ what you need to do next while walking in nature. The knowing is in the totality of your being, not just in your head; it is as if your cells understood something.

“I see a spiral staircase, a double helix, one band thin and one band thick. The thicker one is the downloading and the rational, the thinner the more insightful and intuitive. These are the threads and our intention is to create the weave of wholeness. The pole in the center – the evolutionary thread – is what connects us to what has gone before and what is emerging. This is Collective Sourcing. The challenge is to not disconnect from the thread. The staircase can connect us to the next level.”

In the bigger framework the practices of Art of Hosting can be understood as aiming at opening the minds and hearts of the participants who engage in it. It can be seen as helping people travel down the left side of the U as we have come to know it through Otto Scharmer.
When people have practiced the opening of the mind and of the heart – and personal practice is being a part of it – they become ready to be at the bottom of the U. This is the point where we have access to Source, to the unmanifest potential; either of ourselves or of the project or the group we are in.
Seeing it in this way, the process of Presencing – going through the stages – differs from Sourcing, which is a direct connecting to the deep levels of unmanifest potential. Sourcing is being able to plunge directly to the bottom of the well and still being connected with the manifest level of daily life.
When this capacity is shared by more people, and we go directly to the bottom of Sourcing, our guess is that the right leg of the U-curve will become different than described right now by Otto Scharmer.


Ongoing Spiral between Holding the Potential and Staying in Inquiry creates New Wisdom
There is an ongoing dynamic  – like a spiral going back and forth – between the level or depth of Sourcing and the level or depth/height of Awareness or Spirit.
The depth of the potential can only become accessible for manifestation and action when we are equally able to become aware of the intention or the clear purpose. This explains to us the importance of finding the good guiding question(s). If our question comes from a higher level of awareness it will invite in a deeper possibility of sourcing. In this widened field of wisdom, through many cycles, new wisdom can be generated.
The ship with the highest mast needs the deepest keel.

Embracing more Complexity
Related with this – and drawing it in the model – we realize that this dance between both poles in the spiral also relates to widening our reach in the manifest. The depth of sourcing and the height of the intention make sure that we can embrace more of the whole, which is so needed in dealing with the challenges of our time.

Staying in not-knowing
The underlying condition to get to the point of Collective Sourcing is the ability to keep the space of possibility open until the collective clarity of intention arises. This means that we need to be able to stay long enough in the not-knowing. It isn’t only a mental not-knowing, but we see it as a total letting-go; the ability to sit in the void with no clue of direction or possibility. The not-knowing is a place you haven’t been before, it is a place of newness and innovation.
The ability to stay in the not-knowing is enhanced by the training we receive through our individual practices.

Function of Disturbances
We realized why we say that disturbances have priority. Disturbances make us become aware of some borders or blocking energy in the play of the widening field. Integrating the disturbance means we have to widen our perception, widen our perspectives, widen our holding space, rewording our guiding question. It always is an invitation to open wider; either the mind or the heart or the will.

Capacity of holding multiple relationships at the same time
– Be participant in the process
– Be an observer/witness of what is going on in your self
– Be an observer of the field, the group, the context you are in
– Be a leader, step forward with whatever you see or need or want to bring in
Awareness on all these levels is needed when practicing Living Wholeness.

Living as part of an ecosystem
Shifting our center of gravity from the individual to the collective. By collective we mean here all that is around us, not just the individuals or humans. At some point we used the metaphor of tango, where the man and the woman become ‘a being with four legs’. In a gathering, a workshop – or in life in general – this means one needs to know what the whole is about so that we can keep an eye on it, while at the same time also being aware of our own individual energy.

New Practice of Planning
If we tend to an organism instead of an organization, then what would be the practice of planning? It seems to us that the organic form of this is invitation. The point is to know/sense when and who to invite.

Being a new kind of leader
What does ‘being a leader’ mean in an eco-system?
There is no separation between being and doing;
It is living-as-the-system,
It is living-what-emerges,
No separation between leader and what is led.
There is no border,
No precipice,
It IS.


Collective Harvest and Meaning Making

Harvest into the Wider Field

What leads us to Collective Sourcing is:
•    We are asking questions that lead us deeper into not-knowing and bring us to an edge of clarity
•    We are in a rhythm and pace of speaking and listening that is both waiting and yet searching
•    We are accessing information that is below the aquifer, coming from intuition, story, images, previous experience
•    We are in a field of listening for pop-out points, for clarity and for newness.
The moment collective sourcing arises we can notice some elements of it.
•    we use our subtle sensing
•    there is a slowing down, we speak and act in a different pace
•    silence comes in naturally and spontaneous
•    our small self is gone
•    I am a vessel through which the collective presence speaks and acts
This means that Collective Sourcing is an embodied experience, and not (only) a state of mind.

What if Collective Sourcing is
becoming a human ecosystem
that teaches us
to be one, as the Earth?

What if Collective Sourcing is
second tier partnership?

Is Collective Sourcing the
next structure of community?

Partnership or Being in (Mutual)Relationship seems to be crucial in Living Wholeness. This Being in Relationship we have to understand on many levels, not just on the human level alone. These are the levels that we see right now and that we keep being aware of:
–    with other human beings, the ones present
–    with place: Axladitsa is very much a place where consciousness about ‘us and the land’ is lived day to day. For our gathering now, we keep the question in mind: How can the different physical places inform – show – amplify our different mental models?
–    with history and future: How can we balance local tradition and lineage on one side and innovation on the other?
–    with local and trans-local
–    with the weather, the buildings, etc.: the human and non-human environment
–    with all other non-human beings present here on the land

More inspirations:
Without love for the whole, collective sourcing is not possible.

Creating for beauty is feeding the wholeness.

The Deva of Flow

Monday, December 8th, 2008

As it goes, through some connections by email I received this report. I found it interesting as it links with constellations I have facilitated, or maybe better to say: that have emerged in gatherings that I was hosting. It is about a constellation with its focus on the New Economy.

Especially the role of the Joyful Women – see the end – speaks to me as we are looking in the program Women Moving the Edge what is the kind of feminine action and consciousness that is needed in the world right now. Enjoy this story!

“On Sunday Nov. 16, at a Women’s Circle in Malibu, California, a new Deva* came through to help us manifest the New Economy of the New Earth: The Deva of Flow.

This occurred during a Constellation** inquiring into what needs to happen to bring the Economy into alignment with the Divine Plan.
It was a “Chaos Constellation” in which people do not know what they are representing. Each person simply follows her own movements until she finds her place. Representatives were chosen for the Economy, the Deva of the Economy, and different aspects of the Solution. By the end, all the 20+ people in the room were in the Constellation, including a 7-year-old girl and 5-month-old boy.
In sharing after the Constellation, representatives reported feeling as though they were water, part of the waves or wave action, sources of power, etc. Science, Education, New Energy Forms, the Common Man and Women all entered to find their places as part of the Solution.
The representative for the Deva of Flow (a name that came to me later) constantly wove in and out of the group, making a whooshing sound like the wind, easily bending, arching and moving among all the different people and energies.
When New Forms of Business came into the Constellation, all the other representatives ignored her. She wanted to go to the Economy, but could not stand on her own and sank down on the floor. It took the Deva of Flow to reach out to New Business, raise her up and show her how to dance, how to move, how to effortlessly flow.
Dancing, New Business connected to Conscious Humanity, and they danced and flowed together. Many other representatives in the room already were holding hands, starting to make a circle. Conscious Humanity and New Business – their hands linked – moved to join the others.
Conscious Humanity took the hand of the 7-year-old girl and there was an expectation that New Business would complete the circle. But, with her right hand joined to Conscious Humanity, New Business continued to move into the center, placing her left hand on the back of the representative for the Economy who was holding the baby boy in her arms.
Conscious Humanity and New Business continued their dancing movement, swaying their hips and moving together. Everyone else in the room linked hands and the line moved and swayed in harmony, slowly spiraling toward the center in a living expression of Sacred Geometry, the Golden Mean, the spiral at the center of a Nautilus shell.

In sharing afterwards, one representative emphasized that what the Economy needs is the energy of Joyful Woman: The woman who has no agenda. Who does not push but gently pulls, saying, “Follow me!” This is NOT the energy of trying to fix or make something happen. This is the energy of pure knowing, powerfully and gently expressed. This is the wise, intuitive woman who leads simply by Being who she is.

* A deva is an overlighting Spirit – emanation of the Divine – overseeing physical manifestations on Earth. (There are Devas for all the elements, trees, plants, animals, etc.)

** In a Constellation (a process pioneered by German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger), an issue or question is raised and individuals enter a circle of sacred space, following the feelings, information and movements they sense through their bodies. Through this group process, a new picture may emerge, which can help shift the energy in an individual, relationship or situation.”

Joy Steltzner

Wisdom from nature

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

Third day of our gathering. We started our circle after breakfast in the Skyspace, the beautiful round shaped structure, build higher up than the house and the kitchen. Maria invited us to pass around an invisible ball of clay and shape it into a form that would tell the others about how we feel right now. It was fun!

We now had ‘a leg’ that grew out of our conversations: the Art of Hosting meaningful places. We really mean ‘places’ and not ‘spaces’, because we want to make clear that it is related to a physical place. Some people now had some clarity, others were confused. Of course, through all these conversations, our individual search for meaning and clarity was also going on.

So we decided to let nature speak to us, to sense into a deeper layer of ourselves and have a walk to the well, sit there for some time quietly, then walk to the highest point on the land and each finding our own spot there. The question we took as our guide on this walk was: What are we sensing that we are not aware of?

the power of the little stream

The first thing that really spoke to me was seeing how the water of the little stream had cut through the waterbed in one night, somewhere in October last year. It revealed the following sentence: “There is big power in the soft that is flowing.”, which repeated itself in my mind for some time. There is big power in the soft that is flowing. Indeed, the soft that is in flow can move a lot! It also reminded me of a poem that ends with the line: “In the end the soft powers will win.” Good to be reminded of that.

Coming to the well, with the poplar tree and the little open space where the little streams come together, we each found our own spot to sit and I started writing:

in the well

“The deep well next to the highest tree on the land, a symbol of connecting Spirit and Matter. Spirit reaching to consciousness, the deep layers of Matter trickling down to Source.

Can we hold the tension of creation? Can we hold the slowness of co-creation? The gentleness of ‘touch’ that is needed everywhere. Touching the food, touching the land, touching each other… can we keep the awareness of all the in-between spaces? Am I aware of the relation between this little insect in front of me and my self? And how we are related with all – all – all round and inside?

Can we love all and everything all the time?”

the poplar tree next to the well

The afternoon we spend on sharing our deep insights and messages from this walk and connecting with nature. It was incredibly deep, moving, inspiring and much more! It made us all aware how we all need this kind of knowing to really see, to sense, to listen, to really ‘know’. We videotaped this sharing and it will probably become available in a few weeks or months from now.

What I remember from it is that there was a sense of the masculine forces getting together, with a readiness to act; and on the other hand the letting go, which speaks more of the feminine quality. Combined together they can create!

Suddenly in this sharing I got the answer to one of the questions that was guiding us: What is the minimal, optimal structure of connecting? The minimal optimal is the natural!

Start of the gathering

Monday, November 12th, 2007

Today was the official start of the Art of Hosting on ’growing legs’ for the AoH community. When we just drove back from the farmhouse to our little studios here in a local hotel here in Platania, the local fishing port, we could hardly imagine that this was just one day!

Total strangers shared some of their personal stories and we did all the other stuff that makes a good community: making and eating food together and doing some physical work together. We harvested the olives from the last seven trees. I will never complain any more, or wonder why olive oil is so expensive. If you want to understand make sure you know how they are harvested! For me it was fun to learn a new gardening art: how to use the long sticks with the least effort but with the maximum of result. And fun too to climb in these old trees, to be able to reach the highest branches. I loved it.

hands with talking piece

The check-in of this morning revealed how most of us, eleven participants, are ‘at the bottom of the U’; at a point in life where it is not so clear where to go, or when to move on. We joked about that this is why so many people didn’t make it to join us: they were probably sure about their lives and didn’t need to be here?!

Like in the Art of Hosting on Art of Hosting, in June in Belgium, we used the tarot cards after we returned from the physical work outside, and laid out a certain pattern that could inform us about the deeper meaning of our gathering.

At the center, at the heart, was Eight of Swords, reversed. It tells us about the letting go of any thoughts, realizing that we are not limited by them, as they are not the actual situation. “We don’t have to grow legs, we have to use them!”

it's beautiful fruit

North was Five of Wands, which tells us about: What’s present? What is visible to the world? What we show is the trying out, the creative energy. So maybe it tells about growing up, do something with what we already have?

What comes in our consciousness? The Night of Swords: about the personal level of this community. Showing the world what we stand for (values and principles) and taking action from there. The sword brings the clarity of mind.

What do we need to let go of (past)? Again swords: Seven of Swords: the nightmare of the perfectionist. The person is carrying already five swords, and can’t take the two others that are left. We related it to the many different ideas we had as we were envisioning this gathering and none of them came through. Maybe we have to look at what works and go with that.

Again more swords (Ten) came for the question: What is the near future? It spoke of letting go anything that pins us down. There is something that the world is ready for this resonance; not fighting the system, but show it to the world, because it is now ready. We can come out of the unclarity.

own harvested almonds

Maybe our harvest is being stewards of clarity, and also take the time to gain this clarity; to find the clarity in the practice.

To close our session we took another card as a piece of advice: the Wheel of Fortune reversed. The wheel of fortune is the real change, and it seems to point us in looking where something is stuck, or not aligned.

A last question was how to heal that? Knight of cups: finding your grail, your own passion. Taking action on what we love, guided by the heart.
Tova spoke once about ‘the Heart of Hosting’; and Chris Corrigan spoke in June about ‘the Art of the Open Heart’. Our own passion is so essential; in these days we need to act from there.

Of course conversations didn’t stop when we had dinner together afterwards. Personally I had the sense that we were still not touching the deepest ground. In one way or another we came to speak about it, because nobody was stepping up to do the facilitation for tomorrow. Here are some snippets of different conversations:
– needing more silence
– holding the deep feminine
– the power of giving birth and being pregnant
– not to take on the masculine projections
– using the law of two feet in regular life
– do the grounding of the place in the collective!


Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

I was just reading an article from Anthony Judge, which gives the perfect words to what happened in our experience of Women Moving the Edge (read previous blog posts).

“For participants who have attended many meetings in different contexts, the ultimate expression of appreciation for a meeting is that “it was magical”. This tends to imply that somehow the right people said the right things at the right time, without any apparent form of orchestration. Together these contributions are then perceived to create what have been named “transformative moments” — when there was a genuine shift in the configuration of forces and insights.”

“Magic, like advertising and poetry, does not “work” because its propositions are essentially real or true; it works because practitioners become imaginatively involved in these propositions. Those affected can grow through the patterns, emerging beyond them into a clarity of awareness that was not possible before the experience of transition and transformation.”

These quotes are taken from an article “Cultivating the Songlines of the Noosphere. From presentations by representatives to embodying presence in transformation” on his website that gives like 10 or more perspectives to write or look at a gathering. Many times I find his articles way too abstract to be able to follow, but this is ‘just beautiful’. I got the link from another blog where was said: “a must read”.


Rich tapestry

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

We came to our last morning on Monday. Everybody was still full of the many learnings the constellation had brought. The dialogue started from there. It is so rich (and long), but I wouldn’t know what to leave out…

* Perceval had to re-trace his steps. In retracing your experience you consciously understand. The healing of the wounded king is when we ask the question “Whom does the Grail serve?” This is about alignment. Our task is to stay connected in the epiphany to that alignment and then right action comes out of that.

* If we look back on these two days – what did we do, what made it happen? Reflecting back and making it available to the collective is important. It is not about us only, it’s about laying these cosmic grooves to make it accessible to all.


* In the meditation this morning I realized how being in this circle calls me to be no more and no less than fully present. “It is not up to me” meaning: I don’t have to do this by myself, I’m part of the collective’, and “it is totally up to me” meaning: when I’m not present (and coming from story), the full resonance potential of the group doesn’t manifest. The image of the crystal singing bowl is helpful here – where every point on the circumference of the circle is in harmony, (i.e. it isn’t a loose, floppy circle). The emptiness of the bowl reminds me of Source, of unmanifest potential, and when invited by the striker, sound comes forth.

* There is something about this circle that doesn’t trigger the ego in the usual way. I can be here in a way I don’t usually experience myself… still reeling from the implications of being Source. No ‘me-ness’, only ‘Is-ness’, there’s nothing foreign, not lost everything by not being me. It is a complete paradox that I would relinquish me and receive so much more. Like dropping my clothes, and everything is off me. Yet my place in the world is not less, and my place is vast. There’s no gravity to bring you off the top of the cliff. The thing I’ve looked for I already am, and so are you.

The alignment is a natural evolution, it is a natural expression into action. The ground of Being is raw impetus, highly energized impetus – into form. How do I experience/express myself if I can’t be you and everything?

Dropping of the boundaries of self because there’s a tangible resting point that’s everywhere, the anchor is in the in-between.

To leave here and have something sustainable is the meat of it – it doesn’t give itself to us if we don’t open up to it. We are unlimited possibility.

What we ask for is what’s given – no more and no less. Until we come to accept the vastness that we are, the more we limit the possibility of anything being possible.

There’s a relationship between the question and my willingness to hold a selfless self, without a ‘me’ to gain. Me being willing to be me in the presence of Source is to let it flow through – a new balance is needed.

* How to bring the Empress (from the Tarot) forth – the feminine, creative, loving? Being the Empress is accessing Source. Is the bowl, is the CircleBeing, accessing, opening to Source?

* There’s a formless quality to this gathering, which has no words to describe it – fullness of the silence, the experience of the spaciousness. Not so much asking the question, but I will leave here being (in) the question: Who is it in us that wants to take form, meaning – is it the ‘She’ coming from the formless place?


* “How can I continue to live the question of working with community and diversity?” How can we transcend the I to the WE, the SHE? How to deepen the understanding of the WE? I had a real experience of transcending the me/I this weekend. I transcended it to ‘We’, that might be Source.

The ‘We’ is the pathway into Source.

* The huge awakening (for her representing Collective Knowing) is that the world wanted me – is inviting me – at some level there’s a readiness, an invitation, a birthing.

So those of us who can sit in circle like this can move into this rarefied space. We’re creating grooves, for something to move forward in a new way, and we can consciously align.

I see the collective ‘We’ as the pathway – the next stage of development in human consciousness – to move out of the ‘I’ into the ‘We’.

This connection to the world is so important. We come to this kind of space and struggle to know how to re-enter. A piece of it is togetherness, collaboration – I’ve always tried to do everything alone – why? True collective leadership is about finding your collective – no attachment to my piece, but also owning my gifts in giving them freely. We’re still learning how to be in alignment with Self/Source and other, so we won’t always do it perfectly. There’s something about the feminine that can work with the subtle, creative impulse, that force coming through, and begin to create those pathways in the manifest world.


* Source wants to move, so have no anxiety to manifest the new, it will come through. Source is robust – it’s our human understanding that is fragile! What is unique about you – you will form Source into uniqueness. It’s not a weak supply! The more our ‘Yes’ is there, the more it’s available. There’s deep and profound meaning in the movement itself – inherent in the very movement is the meaning.

* There seems to be a book with the title: “Things are going great in your absence” (absence of our ego – it’s all about getting out of our way)

* ‘The tone of being magnified’ – it penetrates through everything – the vibration is the healing and the action.

* How can we hold the space as we leave, without going into our distraction?

* I acknowledge the multiple modalities of access we’ve had here this weekend – art, movement, poetry, constellation, sharing etc. – very non-linear, whatever is the next thing that emerges – a feminine way of being. The underlying order is always present and we pop up like mushrooms.

The force of the image…

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

The dialogue went deep and again we were invited to join Eve-Marie in her longing to use color and express our images of the collective She or the feminine power. Judy: “I remember sensing that this emergent feminine energy carries this power of the self-generating fire storm, a powerful image for me. I recall my drawing was much bolder than any before. The emergent feminine energy holds all the dynamic tension of the ‘gentle fierceness’ that came through in the first Women Moving the Edge. It holds Wholeness of Knowing, of Being, of Doing.”

I let the drawings speak for themselves:

Our images of feminine power2 Our images of feminine power1 Our images of feminine power4 Our images of feminine power3 Our images of feminine power7 Our images of feminine power6

A walk on the edge

Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

It is difficult to remember what were all the things that happened on our third day together. It was again so rich, inspiring and beautiful.


Some of us decided to greet and honor the sunrise, and they ended up doing it in the hot tub. This was a luxury I enjoyed the evening before, with a splendid view lit by the almost full moon; when all the others were already gone to bed or to their rooms.

“It was a beautiful morning, the sun coming up over the distant ridge of mountains, and the moon behind, up the hill through the trees.” (Judy)

Later in the day Wendy would recall that it was not possible to see them both at once, but if you turn inwards then it is possible to have a sense or an experience of both. Did you ever think of that?

I can’t remember what exactly is the chronology of that day, but I do know that we decided to do an Appreciative Inquiry Walk after lunch, around a situation of ‘moving the edge’. The question was: What did you do that made it happen? The harvest of these conversations in pairs was again something that brought us deeper into our joint inquiry. Moving the edge happens when:

– there is a compulsion; when your integrity doesn’t allow to act in another way. In this way it holds the paradox of being conscious of ‘some’ consequences of your choice and the feeling of not having any choice.
– there is no point of reference that you can rely on

Sunday afternoon

– it ‘had’ to be expressed
– we leave our separateness and join others, without questions or judgments
– there is an energy of “Let’s do it!” (in alignment with Source) instead of “Do it!”
– the outcome could not be anticipated beforehand
– there is a letting go, a giving up of control
– a not holding back: it asks for courage and honesty
– you have a sense of something ‘from somewhere else’ coming through you
– you live the energy of the Fool (tarot cards): it looks like stepping forward will lead to death, but not doing it will lead to another form of death

It wasn’t the first time we talked about it but the experience of giving birth was exactly this! Women’s way of being alive, every month ‘forced’ by nature to go along with Life, with no control over it, seems to make us more connected with Life, earth and matter; and the inherent ‘push’ of Life energy. Being on the edge in this way seems quite familiar… I think this experience makes women – on average – more open to a kind of subtle energies which are different than the mental knowing, but are needed to a get full ‘understanding’.

Judy’s reflections: “In recalling my own story, I remembered the ‘letting go’ that had to happen in my moving the edge experience. I remembered how hard that was, but when I did, then there was an openeing, and the ‘letting come’ flowed so naturally, so effortlessly. I also recalled on one occassion the buildup of tension that preceded the ‘lettting go’. Like something going to explode inside me, about to erupt, not going to wait any longer. Really like Life coming through me, there was no holding back. I also recall related and less explosive times where discernement, and the subtle knowing that is required, came into play. The knowing when to speak and when to remain silent, discerning when to lead or step forward, and when to just be with another.”

Lifting the veil…

Saturday, October 27th, 2007
Free drawing5

The magic here continued. When we got up this morning there was fog all around. The hills on the other side of the valley were not visible anymore. The simple question of What is present now? brought a very rich conversation around the theme of What is feminine power?

The metaphor of the mycelium, what we normally think of as the roots of the mushrooms, is actually the plant in itself and the mushrooms are its ‘flowers’. In my drawing of our conversation I noted a lot of the words that make up our mycelium: gentleness, safety, holding, enlivening, equality, talking stone, the earth, the collective… Stories about shame, fear, rage and sadness… these personal stories who pop up from the collective, just like the mushrooms…

Free drawing2

The conversation shifted to: purpose, power, presence. What does it mean to stand in my feminine power, and not to retreat or not to attack? What is feminine power? Is ‘feminine warriorship’ the right word? Can we let go of the old women’s story? Are we present in and to ourselves, or are we ‘over there’… From where do we engage with the others or the world?

Sooooo rich!!! The words here can hardly convey the energy, the presence, the learning, the laughter and so much more! Time to have a break and eat some wonderful nuts.

Free drawing3

Judy and I both felt that this were enough words. We invited Eve-Marie to guide us in an experiment with drawing, using colors. That was basically it: use colors and let them take over, drop your mind and your judgments, come to the still point in your body, just go with the colors and the movement they evoke. “It is just paper.” “What would a four year old do now?” These were some of the questions that seduced us to a no-mind space, the space of creativity. I loved to come to this point where it was just the fun of let my hand move with the colors. Being present with the colors. Good stuff to come to an open mind!

In the sharing there was someone who recalled to invitation at the beginning of the drawing exercise to drop yourself into the still-point within… this still point is so full of freedom; it carries all potential! My sense is that it has to do a lot with the power of women…

Friday, August 24th, 2007

“Dear Friends,

This is the time for the emergence of a new feminine archetype. I call it the “feminine cocreator.” As we have fewer children and live longer lives, as the world heads into its “crisis of birth” of a new humanity, this feminine cocreator is arising. We are giving birth to the authentic feminine self and our work in the world because it is necessary for the survival and thriving of our very species.”

This is the first paragraph of an email send out by Barbara Max Hubbard (visionary, futurist, author) to announce the Women’s Wisdom Conference: Touching Greatness, Igniting Purpose and Passion, and also the book The Power of Yin.

Just now – today – when I want to announce the second Women Moving the Edge gathering, which I host and organise with Judy Wallace from the US. This is the first paragraph from our invitation:

“A purposeful gathering of conscious women who will:
• explore and move the edge of what it means to know, sense, and be our emergent collective future potential
• hold, embrace, and birth the unfolding wholeness together
• and in this process of discovery co-create new grooves in consciousness beyond our individual and collective edge

In this gathering we will not only explore the edge, we will be it, we will do it. Our world requires of us the courage to open, to engage, to inquire, to suspend, and to explore beyond what we think we know. Together we will co-create and be the vessel to awaken the inter-subjective “We”, the Being who comes alive through all of us together, who awaits our invitation to bring collective leadership into the world.”Although they are both about The Power of Yin, the difference is that the first format is about ‘Presenters’ and the second one is about ‘Participants’…