Archive for the ‘practices’ Category

About ego, soul and paradise

Tuesday, April 24th, 2012

Lena brought a nice question to the circle on Saturday morning: What else can I let go of? What brings me real joy or real comfort? A whole conversation emerged around the theme of ‘being OK’, which is ‘beyond what is good or bad’. It is about ‘it is just as it is’. It is about ‘I am just as I am’. Also in relationship, we cannot ‘make’ the connection, we cannot force it to happen, but true relationship is about being there, fully present. Even if I feel angry, or lost, or something else I can still find it totally OK that that is what is there in me. The part in me that wants to make it wrong – not OK – is part of my ego, part of all the shoulds and woulds that we have grown up with. The part that can be OK with what is happening is closer to our witnessing capacity and our soul. We need this competence to get out of the stuck places in our lives.

It tied in with a conversation around comfort zones. There is a fine distinction to make between a comfort zone that means we are used to it, we do it out of habit. Indeed we can find comfort in it, because it is in our lives since a long, long time and we are used to it. But if we need to find the comfort that is real, the question to ask is: What brings me nurturing? What is of real support to me? Which might actually be something totally different than what we are used to – like eating chocolate and biscuits in my case!

Being OK with ‘what is’ can mean that I need to share what is present in me. This act of self-disclosure, vulnerable as it can feel, helps me to stay in my own flow and helps me to stay present. Denying it or repressing it does not make it go away! We better express what is present in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone, including myself, so that energy can flow again.

This conversation reminded of the advice a body-work teacher told me long time ago, about how to be in the love making with your partner. He would wrap it up in one, challenging sentence: Mind your own business! I was shocked the first time I heard that. Not taking care of my partner I love so much? No! Mind your own business. Stay in your own flow; move how you want to move, express your love in a gesture that fits that moment etc. It is a lesson that we can take on for our whole life, to follow your own spark, your own flow. That’s how we get to the place of soul, the world of creation. That’s where the ecstasy can be found! That’s where paradise lays!

The practice of being in circle where we are serious about inviting in the diversity means that it is essential – a precondition – that every participant brings in their own gifts. This can only happen when we follow our own flow and listen inside to what is emerging, what needs to be shared into the collective. On another occasion in our gathering this point became clear once again. One of us had a strange and difficult night. She was kind of trying to wave it away in the morning at the breakfast table but it was important that she shared it all. Only then, after having gone through the different emotions that were related with it – both deep sadness, but also deep release and joy – we saw the relaxation coming back in her face, and even the smile was visible again! And the message present in her sharing was important for understanding what we had gone through as a collective.

Too many times we still think that what we experience is only personal. We don’t realize that our circle, this collective being, is made up like a puzzle. If we don’t bring in our unique thing, then something is missing in the overall picture and we don’t see the whole of it. Sometimes the sharing helps us to become present, as a first level of what is needed and possible for the collective wisdom to arise.

But then the next level or layer can arise where our unique gift, from our soul’s purpose, is a precondition for the circle to come to a level of generativity; where the new can really emerge; that one unique thing that only this group of people can do right now, and right here. It is beyond collective intelligence or collective wisdom, it is what Helen expresses in: not being IN the cosmos, but being AS the cosmos. Being AS life itself; being AS paradise.

Witnessing, brilliance and radical amazement

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Some time ago I posted a question on my Facebook wall: “Sitting with this question: what makes witnessing so powerful? Is it because it links with our deepest soul?” A whole lot of answers came, and really nice ones.

IMG_3792

The question had been fueled by recent experiences in some gatherings or learning events. One was were we did a listening circle – instead of speaking when you had the talking piece, now you were the one to listen to the others who would share what they saw was your precious gift. To me, it was a very special moment and someone said: This is even beyond Appreciative Inquiry! It was special because we could all touch a layer that we normally don’t give words to. It was about each others essence. I would say it was about and from the soul level. Also in the Immersion, a learning gathering around Living Wholeness the witnessing was very present.

Here are some of the answers that came on my FB page:
I have been sitting with this question as well 🙂 Some words from Alan Watts made me wonder if that’s a possible answer!
“Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence.” ~ Alan Watts

Often I’m reminded that our anatomy doesn’t let us see our own beauty except in a mirror. We can do that for each other!

There is definitely something about being seen and heard – and maybe that is about the universe being seen and heard through each of us.

mirror neurons?

perhaps the gracefulness of not attempting to change but accepting something…

there’s also something about seeing and hearing ourselves within that process which makes it so potent for me too.

The Vedas talk about unmanifest Being splitting itself into Rishi, Devata and Chandas – the Knower, the Process of Knowing and the Known – in order that it might know itself. Witnessing is a practice of being consciously aware of all three to complete the trinity, rather than just focusing on the ‘Known’ …

Isn’t there a lot of wisdom in my friends? I really was surprised by the abundance of the answers, as this was more or less the first time I engaged myself in this way on Facebook!

Witnessing and radical amasement

Saturday, July 24th, 2010

Some time ago I posted a question on my Facebook wall: “Sitting with this question: what makes witnessing so powerful? Is it because it links with our deepest soul?” A whole lot of answers came; and really nice ones.

The question had been fueled by recent experiences in some gatherings and learning events. In one we did a witnessing circle. It was a listening circle – instead of speaking when you had the talking piece, now you were the one to listen to the others who would share what they saw was your precious gift. To me, it was a very special moment and someone said: This is even beyond Appreciative Inquiry! It was special because we could all touch a layer that we normally don’t give words to. It was basically naming each other’s essence. I would say it was about and from the soul level. Also in the Axladitsa Immersion, a learning gathering around Living Wholeness this witnessing was very present throughout the gathering.

Here are some of the answers that came on my FB page:
“I have been sitting with this question as well 🙂 Some words from Alan Watts made me wonder if that’s a possible answer!
“Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence.” ~ Alan Watts”

“Often I’m reminded that our anatomy doesn’t let us see our own beauty except in a mirror. We can do that for each other!”

“There is definitely something about being seen and heard – and maybe that is about the universe being seen and heard through each of us.”

“Mirror neurons?”

“Perhaps the gracefulness of not attempting to change but accepting something…”

“There’s also something about seeing and hearing ourselves within that process which makes it so potent for me too.”

“The Vedas talk about unmanifest Being splitting itself into Rishi, Devata and Chandas – the Knower, the Process of Knowing and the Known – in order that it might know itself. Witnessing is a practice of being consciously aware of all three to complete the trinity, rather than just focusing on the ‘Known’…”

Isn’t there a lot of wisdom in my friends? I really was surprised by the abundance of the answers, as this was more or less the first time I engaged myself in this way on Facebook!

The witnessing evoked in the Immersion the notion of Radical Amasement. To me, to be in a state of real witnessing, be it something in nature, an old tool or someone else, I become radical amased about the ingenuity of what is in front of me. The wonder of life, that explodes in these myriad of different forms, so many different ‘solutions’ to so many different ‘problems’… it is just awesome!

Then you realize it is not about solutions and problems, but it is about how life tries out each and every way to express the richness of itself. It seems always trying out what kind of life forms are life-bearing or life-affirming. It just goes on doing that; and it never stops. Still the big bang is happening all the time….

To celebrate the beginning of summer?

Monday, June 21st, 2010

A Canadian friend of mine, Dave Stevenson, wrote a week ago a message to the Art of Hosting emaillist. He is doing great work within the process of giving child and youth care back to the first nations, away from the central government.

Here is what he wrote:
“Last week we held a ceremony at a local long house, which for those of you not familier with the West Coast First Nations traditions, holds the home fire of traditional laws and customs. The ceremony was to formally acknowledge and celebrate a relationship between Provincial, Federal and First Nations Governments working together for the care and protection of Aboriginal children in British Columbia.

As part of the event, one of the champions and leaders for First Nations Children was asked to speak and gave this message, which I am passing on. June 21st is National Aboriginal day, and the message is a request for a moment of clarity and intention for the care of mother earth.
Please feel free to pass along.”

Dear friends and family,

June 21, 2010 is Aboriginal Day for Aboriginal people in Canada. In light of this date, Caring for First Nations Children Society of British Columbia is asking for your support in the following initiative;

Mother Earth continues to nourish us and care for people regardless of the injuries she has suffered at the hands of man. From oil spills, earthquakes, logging, fisheries industry, among many other injuries, mother earth has sustained us and continues to fight for our survival. In the spirit of reciprocity, Caring for First Nations Children Society of BC would like for offices, agencies, organizations, families, and individuals to be conscious of the clock at 10am on June 21, 2010. At 10a.m. we ask that people consciously extend their healing thoughts to mother earth whether in the form of a prayer or otherwise. We encourage you to not underestimate the power of such a concentrated effort at a simultaneous time. Please extend healing thoughts, prayers, ceremony and positive energy for/to mother earth and ask that she heal herself and that people around the world support her healing.

Kleco,

Thrivancy

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

Lately I start to replace the word sustainability with thrivability, and now I came across the word trivancy. The big English-Dutch dictionary that I have here doesn’t know any of these two words… I expect them to mean the same…

Here is what Jack Ricchiuto (yes, again from him!) writes as part of a longer article:

The good news is that all groups can thrive. The quickest way for groups to experience more thrivancy is to design them for more thrivancy. Like everything else in life, thrivancy happens by design. Things always perform as they’re designed to perform.

The work of designing groups for greater thrivancy is the work of designing the four core elements of a group’s interactional space. When any of the four elements of this space is better designed for thrivancy, groups become smarter and better together.

3 Practices

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

These days a lot of my friends are in Copenhagen, offering their gifts as citizens who care. Here is a simple harvest from one group of Art of Hosting friends:

3 practices that if practiced
by any person on the planet
will help to clear
your inner climate…

SHARE
Our knowing: There’s enough if we share
Practice: SHARE IT

CHOOSE
Our knowing: We all have a choice
Practice: CHOOSE ON BEHALF ON THE PLANET

HEAL
Our knowing: We are nature
Practice: FIND YOUR NATURAL RHYTHM

other good practices for each day:
BREATHE – MOVE – LAUGH – REST

The foundation for these we suggest is an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE.
More to read on the website, also links with some video’s taken…