Archive for the 'living life' Category

Evening of the second day

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

The evening of the second day, at dinner it was tangible that something had happened; that we got some clarity together: the Art of Hosting Meaningful Spaces, as a diversification from the Art of Hosting meaningful conversations. A next level up on the spiral, but still very much connected to its roots. There was energy and laughter in the air…

We saw how a community is forming within a community. Which is after all a very natural step in evolution: making differences more clear – diversification – to be able to hold more complexity, or in other words, more wholeness.

Being the caller is really something different than being a host; we saw deeper into these differences. It is only the callers themselves who lived the experience who can really speak of it. Being a caller for a certain place takes a longer and different commitment than being a host, who can come and go.

greeting Mrs. Athina

The spaces we are holding in the learning centers, are the places where people and place can work together. Where there is place for conversations like this: “That tree is so happy that you all are harvesting it!” (said by Panaoiti’s mom when we were helping them with the olive harvest). Basically we are learning that we have to love the earth, the places we live in. Part of this learning has very, very deep roots. There can be much pressure around finances, but we take a stand in not let the land be prostituted.

Enough is enough!

When we gather in these places all aspects of life are welcomed; also the children. We invite this kind of softness in, even when it makes us vulnerable.

We are here to learn again the lineage and learn again about relationships; instead of ‘things’.

The Art of Hosting meaningful places

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

The conversation went on…
You will notice how the conversation ‘struggled’, until at a certain time we reached collective clarity on ‘The Art of Hosting Meaningful Spaces’, as a next level or a new branch in the overall Art of Hosting community. Here is most of what was said:

Nora planting...

* I’m holding a lot of resonance from the morning circle. We were touching into this heaviness… I feel called to speak… the strength of meaning is held outside… as if we are supposed to do the AoH in a certain way. Personally I am invited to step into hosting every moment! With real issues!
The AoH training is a doorway, and the Learning Centers is a new way. The community seems to value more the work in the world; but this is also the work! I don’t want to go into the judgment space. I live real emergence here. We are practicing the next level. The locations are inviting the integration. Hosting is huge! It is bigger than ‘hosting meaningful conversations’. If we don’t tend the fire, we are cold. If we don’t tend the food, we are hungry. It is in every moment. Learning Centers are a practice ground to send people to. For me it is a way of living. I want to find, to identify what is really going on here.
And there is something about the questions we each hold; they need to come to the front more.

* Here we have a good “f” product: the Art of Hosting; we have the best people, and the best places in Europe. Let’s start to walk, one step after the other! And yes, we don’t know where we are going!
How much are we really willing to put in? Are we scared?

* Are we feeding the wolf of fear? There is a difference in elder and steward. Who declares who is a steward or not?
A lot of consultants have taken the AoH training. Are they ready to deliver? Why are we crunching about the guru word?

* (To Maria and Sarah) You are now the elders of this place. Don’t look for others who are not here. Don’t wait for support from certain others. Be proud of what you do, and ask help from the ones who wants to offer. That’s the lesson we learned.

* Hierarchy – when it is good – it visualize who is most wise; something we have to pay respect to. Now hierarchy is mostly related with the one who gets the most money… How do we get rid of the burden… I think we need ‘to lift as a flock’… I’m asking for help here.

view left from the front door

* If this land (Axladitsa) is part of the community that we are all part of, then we can look deeper and support this place; as a learning lesson for myself too. If we talk about the not-present world, it doesn’t work. What is the gift here, beyond the AoH community? What are you missing here? What is here and now the significant question?

* The AoH training is not ‘wrong’; everything has its own place. One sentence was very strong for me: life as a metaphor; or life as itself. ‘Flow’ and the other AoH concepts stop to be only tools and metaphors. AoH is now becoming my life and now it has meaning and I can explain it to others. AoH is a tool and a framing for some people; Learning Centers is another doorway equally important. The AoH and my harvesting-gardening becomes integrated. Next year as I will be harvesting olives I will have learned a lot.

* The layers upon layers of AoH… this is a living learning center… it is a pallet that we are learning. AoH is upgrading to the next level; bridging the masculine and the feminine; and it are only the first steps! Keep inviting!

* In the Greek language – the indigenous people – the word ‘hieries’ means the ones who were committed and practice the mystery. The word hierarchy comes from that root. My personal purpose is to bring back the ‘mystery school’. I am a doorway holder. I am a ‘hiera’, I do it with reverence, … I am not “a door”, only a doorway holder. ‘Guru’ is an imported word, so I don’t use it. I do know what an elder is, it is the lineage holder; that watches and makes sure it is passed on.
AoH is only an element of that. I would love to talk about Axladitsa, the practice of receiving. How to you open and receive? Instead of: you ask and it then means you are weak. The underlying issue is: What are we really doing here? How do we do it in a capitalist context and still holding our integrity?
Now I am a guardian, not an elder yet. I will become that. I am a student of the land. I am fierce about protecting its pulse. This land and we are birthing something very important here. The friendship with our neighbor will grow, but we have to wait till the timing is right.
I did great work and have deep friendship with some of who are not here. My path is at a different angle, I had to work with that: to be a host of a place, buffing down my sharp edges.
The root of AoH is very strong. My deep desire is to look deeper into the connections between the learning centers.
Bob Ziegler asks the question: If the Learning Centers are as a mandala, what is the core quality of the different ones? Then we can see the wholeness of it all. Is there a structure that would help and support us all? What is the flow of income of this place?

the skyspace

* There is a song that sings about the different levels of love. The first is an attraction on a physical level. The second level is the sexual relationship. You could have it with different people. The third level is being, is living together. Few people still do it. This is the diamond in Axladitsa. The fourth is surrendering your self to one another. Hosting is about that level, in surrender to the field.

* We are now offering the Art of Hosting meaningful spaces – and not meaningful conversations alone. We will evolve this practice and train people in it etc. It is important that some people stand up as the masters of this. Hosting is like giving love to someone.

* My legs are trembling… we are speaking about the legs now!! The diversification is happening, the next level of the spiral, but still connected to the root.

* It is about hosting meaningful life!

* This is THE meaning! We have to be careful not to close in on the financial issue… money is just one of the energy forms. We really have to focus on making it bigger than one plus one plus one. We are dealing here with big matters.
I am one of two (part of a couple); I/we are asking for help. Let’s meet as much as possible in each other’s places and doing the things together. It brings out the best in people. Instead of talking, let’s do it!

* I’m wondering if the next thing we need to talk about: are there patterns in the learning centers to get it into the tangible… bringing in the patterns of the places.

* It would be really important to hear the story of the different places and what are the needs and the ideas. And just listen for the pattern and the learning’s. Can we sprinkle some water on the spider’s web?

* Isaac Mendelssohn talks about this fourth level: One thing that is specific in this pattern is the practice of offering. And he says: part of being human is the act of offering. Being able to speak where the need is, is making the offering possible.

* We have now seen the shape of the legs. It is good to close this circle, and maybe we come back to it…

Further conversations happened while others were preparing dinner…
later more conversations on the financial issue…
but too much from preconceived ideas…

Do: The Way

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

As we came back from the neighbor’s olive garden, the sun was still shining bright, so we gathered for the first time outside. Maria started with reading this:

Do: The Way

gate in the morning light

The Way, at the beginning, is obscure. Even the initiatory steps are wreathed in mist. The heights toward which the path leads apparently are closed within clouds, which seem, from a perspective below them, beyond penetration. And that is for the best, for to see too clearly what lies ahead would be altogether too intimidating. The sobering realizations come only in retrospect: the traveler on such a Way has left behind a familiar and comfortable place, he has entered a journey more challenging, more rewarding than ever he could have imagined at the start. Further along he comes to see that his Way is to a destination still utterly unfantomable yet intensely attractive to him.

It is not a physical transportation, this Way, though rare is the bugeisha who finds he can travel its length without leaving home. The Way is a journey of the mind and the spirit and, ultimately, the soul. The engineering of the Way is a contribution of the Taoists, those ancestral savants of China whose philosophy of the Tao – Do in Japanese – urged a life attuned to the currents of nature. Under the calligrapher’s brush, DO is written as a compound character. The stroke for “principal” or “main” are joined with those of the radical for “movement”. Hence, Do is an “important road”, a Way to follow in harmony and synchronization with the vicissitudes the universe provides, a path along which to discover for oneself the essentials of a worthwhile life.

In this sense, the traces of the Way are very old. It took form the first time an individual engaged in some activity with a consciousness beyond the utilitarian, past the restrictions of the ego. True, the Do may produce art. It may be of practical value. But the attainment of the Way is in the process. It is doing a thing not for the sake of doing it; it is doing a thing because the doing releases us from certain constraints of the limited self: narcissism, self-centeredness, preoccupation with the fears and worries and doubts that diminish us in daily life. The Way draws us into the domain of the potential self: self-realization, self-cultivation, and self-perception.

The Do is both singular and universal; it is open to all with the resolve and inclination to walk it. Those who do, however, take a variety of disciplines in approaching it, for the Do extrapolates from the specific to the general. Tea ceremony, flower arrangement, gardening – each is a route of the Way. The route chosen by the bugeisha is the martial Way. While the particular form the Do takes does not matter, the Do of the bugeisha bring shim into a most immediate confrontations with the elemental struggles of reality: life and death, pain and comfort, temporal matters and matters of the soul. The martial Way requires moral stamina along with visceral and emotional courage. It demands a social conscience as well as physical endurance. To be sure, each of these qualities will be tested on the journey. They may, as well, be purified and fortified in the process. But they must be present in the individual in some degree from the onset if he expects to journey very far.

Maria and Sarah

An individual embarking on the martial Way must be brave and virtuous. He must possess a sense of commitment and a sensitivity to the values of the past. In spite of having these laudable character traits, the would-be bugeisha will also have inner uncertainties, including a suspicion something is missing in his life, something vital. And so he sets off on a path to mysterious destinations. He does so in spite of observations by others that such a Way is naïve, outmoded, or idealistic. He goes because he knows others have gone before, because the unchanging direction of the Way attracts and calls to him. He goes because he is compelled. He has set out on a journey of a lifetime because he senses that, as the kanji for Do reveals, this road is the principal one for him. This Way is the one to lead him to a place very much worth the going.

Sword and Brush; The Spirit of the Martial Arts by Dave Lowry; Part One

Rich tapestry

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

We came to our last morning on Monday. Everybody was still full of the many learnings the constellation had brought. The dialogue started from there. It is so rich (and long), but I wouldn’t know what to leave out…

* Perceval had to re-trace his steps. In retracing your experience you consciously understand. The healing of the wounded king is when we ask the question “Whom does the Grail serve?” This is about alignment. Our task is to stay connected in the epiphany to that alignment and then right action comes out of that.

* If we look back on these two days – what did we do, what made it happen? Reflecting back and making it available to the collective is important. It is not about us only, it’s about laying these cosmic grooves to make it accessible to all.

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* In the meditation this morning I realized how being in this circle calls me to be no more and no less than fully present. “It is not up to me” meaning: I don’t have to do this by myself, I’m part of the collective’, and “it is totally up to me” meaning: when I’m not present (and coming from story), the full resonance potential of the group doesn’t manifest. The image of the crystal singing bowl is helpful here – where every point on the circumference of the circle is in harmony, (i.e. it isn’t a loose, floppy circle). The emptiness of the bowl reminds me of Source, of unmanifest potential, and when invited by the striker, sound comes forth.

* There is something about this circle that doesn’t trigger the ego in the usual way. I can be here in a way I don’t usually experience myself… still reeling from the implications of being Source. No ‘me-ness’, only ‘Is-ness’, there’s nothing foreign, not lost everything by not being me. It is a complete paradox that I would relinquish me and receive so much more. Like dropping my clothes, and everything is off me. Yet my place in the world is not less, and my place is vast. There’s no gravity to bring you off the top of the cliff. The thing I’ve looked for I already am, and so are you.

The alignment is a natural evolution, it is a natural expression into action. The ground of Being is raw impetus, highly energized impetus – into form. How do I experience/express myself if I can’t be you and everything?

Dropping of the boundaries of self because there’s a tangible resting point that’s everywhere, the anchor is in the in-between.

To leave here and have something sustainable is the meat of it – it doesn’t give itself to us if we don’t open up to it. We are unlimited possibility.

What we ask for is what’s given – no more and no less. Until we come to accept the vastness that we are, the more we limit the possibility of anything being possible.

There’s a relationship between the question and my willingness to hold a selfless self, without a ‘me’ to gain. Me being willing to be me in the presence of Source is to let it flow through – a new balance is needed.

* How to bring the Empress (from the Tarot) forth – the feminine, creative, loving? Being the Empress is accessing Source. Is the bowl, is the CircleBeing, accessing, opening to Source?

* There’s a formless quality to this gathering, which has no words to describe it – fullness of the silence, the experience of the spaciousness. Not so much asking the question, but I will leave here being (in) the question: Who is it in us that wants to take form, meaning – is it the ‘She’ coming from the formless place?

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* “How can I continue to live the question of working with community and diversity?” How can we transcend the I to the WE, the SHE? How to deepen the understanding of the WE? I had a real experience of transcending the me/I this weekend. I transcended it to ‘We’, that might be Source.

The ‘We’ is the pathway into Source.

* The huge awakening (for her representing Collective Knowing) is that the world wanted me – is inviting me – at some level there’s a readiness, an invitation, a birthing.

So those of us who can sit in circle like this can move into this rarefied space. We’re creating grooves, for something to move forward in a new way, and we can consciously align.

I see the collective ‘We’ as the pathway – the next stage of development in human consciousness – to move out of the ‘I’ into the ‘We’.

This connection to the world is so important. We come to this kind of space and struggle to know how to re-enter. A piece of it is togetherness, collaboration – I’ve always tried to do everything alone – why? True collective leadership is about finding your collective – no attachment to my piece, but also owning my gifts in giving them freely. We’re still learning how to be in alignment with Self/Source and other, so we won’t always do it perfectly. There’s something about the feminine that can work with the subtle, creative impulse, that force coming through, and begin to create those pathways in the manifest world.

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* Source wants to move, so have no anxiety to manifest the new, it will come through. Source is robust – it’s our human understanding that is fragile! What is unique about you – you will form Source into uniqueness. It’s not a weak supply! The more our ‘Yes’ is there, the more it’s available. There’s deep and profound meaning in the movement itself – inherent in the very movement is the meaning.

* There seems to be a book with the title: “Things are going great in your absence” (absence of our ego – it’s all about getting out of our way)

* ‘The tone of being magnified’ – it penetrates through everything – the vibration is the healing and the action.

* How can we hold the space as we leave, without going into our distraction?

* I acknowledge the multiple modalities of access we’ve had here this weekend – art, movement, poetry, constellation, sharing etc. – very non-linear, whatever is the next thing that emerges – a feminine way of being. The underlying order is always present and we pop up like mushrooms.

A walk on the edge

Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

It is difficult to remember what were all the things that happened on our third day together. It was again so rich, inspiring and beautiful.

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Some of us decided to greet and honor the sunrise, and they ended up doing it in the hot tub. This was a luxury I enjoyed the evening before, with a splendid view lit by the almost full moon; when all the others were already gone to bed or to their rooms.

“It was a beautiful morning, the sun coming up over the distant ridge of mountains, and the moon behind, up the hill through the trees.” (Judy)

Later in the day Wendy would recall that it was not possible to see them both at once, but if you turn inwards then it is possible to have a sense or an experience of both. Did you ever think of that?

I can’t remember what exactly is the chronology of that day, but I do know that we decided to do an Appreciative Inquiry Walk after lunch, around a situation of ‘moving the edge’. The question was: What did you do that made it happen? The harvest of these conversations in pairs was again something that brought us deeper into our joint inquiry. Moving the edge happens when:

- there is a compulsion; when your integrity doesn’t allow to act in another way. In this way it holds the paradox of being conscious of ‘some’ consequences of your choice and the feeling of not having any choice.
- there is no point of reference that you can rely on

Sunday afternoon

- it ‘had’ to be expressed
- we leave our separateness and join others, without questions or judgments
- there is an energy of “Let’s do it!” (in alignment with Source) instead of “Do it!”
- the outcome could not be anticipated beforehand
- there is a letting go, a giving up of control
- a not holding back: it asks for courage and honesty
- you have a sense of something ‘from somewhere else’ coming through you
- you live the energy of the Fool (tarot cards): it looks like stepping forward will lead to death, but not doing it will lead to another form of death

It wasn’t the first time we talked about it but the experience of giving birth was exactly this! Women’s way of being alive, every month ‘forced’ by nature to go along with Life, with no control over it, seems to make us more connected with Life, earth and matter; and the inherent ‘push’ of Life energy. Being on the edge in this way seems quite familiar… I think this experience makes women – on average – more open to a kind of subtle energies which are different than the mental knowing, but are needed to a get full ‘understanding’.

Judy’s reflections: “In recalling my own story, I remembered the ‘letting go’ that had to happen in my moving the edge experience. I remembered how hard that was, but when I did, then there was an openeing, and the ‘letting come’ flowed so naturally, so effortlessly. I also recalled on one occassion the buildup of tension that preceded the ‘lettting go’. Like something going to explode inside me, about to erupt, not going to wait any longer. Really like Life coming through me, there was no holding back. I also recall related and less explosive times where discernement, and the subtle knowing that is required, came into play. The knowing when to speak and when to remain silent, discerning when to lead or step forward, and when to just be with another.”

Women Moving the Edge2

Thursday, October 25th, 2007
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It has been a long time since I did some blogging… but here I am again. I’m sitting here in the Boston area, in a newly painted home, some boxes still unpacked… sunrays falling through the autumn leaves outside… It is good living here, being hosted by my friend Judy, with whom I will facilitate the workshop or gathering ‘Women Moving the Edge’ from tomorrow on.

We took our time over the last two days to settle in into this emergent work. There aren’t a lot of exercices or theories to be prepared, it is more a way of getting into the right ‘space’, sensing what is the deeper purpose and intention; getting aligned between the two of us; sensing into this particular group of participants.

I love to do this kind of work; although it is hardly ‘work’ for me. It is more like a way of living, of being in the world: living a life ‘on the edge’. You might be wondering what that is… There are many entry points to start some explanation about it, and I am sure it will never be linear.

One element is living with an open mind, an intention to be constantly in learning, to enjoy the moments that I become aware that my thinking was limited, was stuck ‘in a box’, to constantly live with and in questions that really matter.

Another element is living with an open heart. Many might say that they do that also – I don’t doubt that – but for me it means that I try to overcome my sense of seperatedness. I am not a defined person that can live on its own. I exist – or: I come into being – in the ‘space in-between’, between you and me; between the trees and me; between the house and me… our language feels too small here, too limited as it uses ‘nouns’ who then can ‘do’ something, but it doesn’t give us a language for expressing the mutuality, the becoming that is happening all moments… Wouldn’t it be great to have this language where threes are named by the sound they make as the wind moves its leaves?

Living on the edge means also to be open to ‘the greater will’, to live your unique gift, to speak the right words on the right time and otherwise to be silent; to live as if always ready to die – no actions or words left for later.

This is more or less what we will try to accomplish in three days with 9 women who don’t know each other beforehand. Wondering how it will be different than the same kind of gathering we had earlier this year in Belgium. My hunch is that the listening, the openess to the subtle realities will be a little more difficult; but maybe that is my prejudice…

Women Moving the Edge2

Why women? Not from a feminist perspective, but to add some deeper awarenesss to our feminine gifts that are so needed in our world. I want to go to the heart, the essence of being feminine. The better we understand, we ‘get it’, the easier to bring it into the outside world. I think that is my gift to bring to the world…

I want people to sail with me…

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

“I want people to sail with me through this puzzling and frightening world. I expect to fail at moments on this journey, to get lost–how could I not? And I expect that you too will fail. Even our voyage is cyclical–we can’t help but move from old to new to old. We will vacillate, one day doing something bold and different, excited over the progress, the next day, back to old behaviors, confused about how to proceed. We need to expect that we will wander off course and not make straight progress to our destination. To stay the course, we need patience, compassion, and forgiveness. We need to require this of one another. It will help us be bolder explorers. It might keep us from going mad.”

One paragraph out of an article written by Margaret Wheatley.

Waking up…

Saturday, August 4th, 2007

I finally got up this morning at 7 o’clock. Pretty early for being on holiday… Guess who wake me up? Probably some sort of mouse.

Since two nights this little creature is exploring new territory – underneath my little tent. He – or is it she? – seems to like places where there is just enough space for him to move around: under my head, my legs, my backpack…

This is how I woke up yesterday morning. Hearing some little sounds my first impression was that one of the neighbours decided to leave the camping early and was doing some packing – in a quiet way not to wake up anybody. But then the sound came my way!? Was it eating my tent??? I borrowed this tent from a friend, so I don’t need holes in it!! And I don’t want to be in a tent with an animal that I don’t know! Look how this big creature – the human – gets scared and angry by this little one!

I tried to chase it away by knocking hard on the places where I heard it ‘working’. The only result I got was some silence for a minute or so, and then it started again. I checked several times: no, it was not coming through ‘the floor’ of my tent. Relief! I could relax and finally got out of my tent.

Yesterday evening my little friend was here again. It had enlarged his territory it seemed. Now I wasn’t scared anymore, but a ‘something’ that is moving underneath your legs isn’t the right condition to fall asleep…

5.30 this morning he started again. Knowing he wouldn’t harm me I managed to sleep for one more hour. When he was digging its way right below my pillow, that got me fully awake!

So here I sit writing. All camping neighbors are still asleep, I don’t even hear a child. I guess the noise I’m hearing is this creature eating-digging-pulling the grass away to make its little tunnels. He will be ‘surprised’ when I remove the tent in a few hours.

But no, surprise can only be there when there are expectations. No, the mouse will just go on digging some other tunnels.

Is there a message in my encounter with this other living being? It seems that being small, not at all attacking, just doing what you need to do, can have a huge effect on creatures much bigger than you!

How to be human?

Saturday, August 4th, 2007
Shoe and foot

Yesterday I started on a walking path to find water and I ended up with my left foot – and my left shoe! – in the black mud. I was not able to follow the path, unless I was willing to offer my right shoe too. So no ideal place to sit quietly and to contemplate…

Today I left in the morning for the forest, and look where I am now! I followed the sign ‘Udsight’ (in Dutch: uitzicht; in English: viewpoint) and I am sitting now on a nice little plateau just above the water.

The strong wind makes endless tiny waves who bump into it and make this calming sound, as if I’m sitting in a rowboat. As far as I can see the waterfront is grown with the tall ‘water-grass’: bowing to the wind and also to the water, still standing tall.

Can I connect with the life-force in this amazing plant? Can I be with this ‘unfolding movement’ as I read yesterday?

Is this what touches us in nature, the pure life-force? Unconditional – pure – still – and yet full of life!? That what makes us at ease in nature, that what makes us silent inside, that what sets our wonderment into motion again?
How to BE this life-force and – in the same moment – be aware of it?
Not separated, not: I’m here and nature is over there, but being one, being whole with it?
How to be HUMAN in nature, in this world?

Dancing presence

Tuesday, April 10th, 2007

I’m slowly coming back into ‘normal’ life after a 3,5 day dancing workshop. It was an international 5 Rhythms workshop, named ‘Journey into Trance’, led by Jonathan Horan.

Coming back to ‘normal’ life doesn’t mean that I am stiff or that I am longing for more dance, but it means that I’m really changed by the workshop and I don’t want the old habits to take over! It is amazing what dancing with attention and awareness can do!

I knew it, and some years ago I took a lot of workshops – covering a lot of life-themes – and then I stopped. Don’t know why; it just happened. It supported my personal development in many, many ways. The most important thing was that it gave my pleasure and spontaneity back! This workshop and how it was designed, and also my level of how I stepped in went beyond this. What Jonathan named Trance, was what we name in other circles as ‘not-knowing’. It has nothing to do with a trance, like when taking drugs and one part of you is off the world. Trance is there when you are totally in the moment, when you are not dancing, but the dance is coming through you! It are heavenly moments when you are so fluid and open that you are able to follow your body – no thoughts or fears in the way – and what your body is doing is just amazing!

Because of the theme we danced a lot on ‘chaos’ music – the one with a heavy and quick beat. One of the guidelines throughout the workshop was to follow the repetitions that your body makes. As you follow through them, it will finally result in some healing motions: a self-healing of the body. One moment in this chaos music, I was lying in the floor, very sensitive and attentive to what happened in my body. I had already ‘worked’ with releasing some tension in my lower belly, but now – everytime I wanted to get up on my feet – I could sense a slight anxiety in my upper chest. Of course I could step over it, and just return to my ‘normal’ way of dancing, but I was here to do something else. So I followed my body, the opening up of my chest in a very, very slow way; on every side surrounded by people dancing and jumping in all kinds of ways! The anxiety was slightly above my stomach, causing some little nausea. Millimeter by millimeter I opened my chest by opening my left arm. And suddenly tears were in my eyes, I could cry for the many times I was supposed to be bigger than I was, and I ‘stood up’ with some fear blocked in my body for almost 50 years!

There were a lot of moments like this, and I was happy with the few guidelines that were provided. They were right on the spot and not too much, and they spoke about great wisdom. So here I am with a much softer body, a much deeper relaxation inside.

An important insight I got – another gift that dancing gives to me – is that this embodied presence will be so needed in the future, especially for leaders. One moment of big chaos, turmoil and screaming, when more or less all 70 participants were struggling with their own blockages to come to a deeper place of surrender, I felt myself dancing in this quick beat but with total silence inside of me. Immediately I ‘saw’ how important this would become for the future! Complexity and chaos will increase in our world and we will need bodies that are capable of being totally in this chaos and still have the capacity to act and think out of stillness. Not being re-acting out of our own hidden and unconscious fears, hiding away somewhere deep in our bodily tissue.

Once again, I was in awe for the beautiful, spiritual practice that the 5 Rhythms can be. I want to end with one quote from Gabrielle Roth (the mother of Jonathan), the inventor – founder of this beautiful map:

“Anything outside the breath is ego.”


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