Seeds for a happy planet

As I look back now on the systemic constellation that we did, I can see how all the elements that were needed in the constellation came up in the two days before, as elements of different conversations. Yesterday in a conversation about the gathering with George, it became clear to me that in a deep, collective U-process as we did in this gathering, a systemic constellation can be a format that makes a ‘collective letting come’ possible. More on this later.

For now I want to describe some of the important movements that happened in this constellation and the learnings we got out from it. Let’s start with the beginning.

In the beginning it was clear that Leadership needed support. The person representing Leadership felt unstable and fell almost to the back. The Future representative felt this need for support and wanted to stand behind Leadership, but it was not the right place for Future; so she went back to her initial position. Only when Leadership could take more distance from the Pain of the world, she could really look and felt all right. After the constellation she reported: “I was really struck how passive I can be; I rather went out instead of doing something.”

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Late afternoon a systemic constellation was proposed. Some chaos re-entered as some didn’t know what it was, but they were willing to give it a try. What was it that we had to represent? What was here the relevant system and the relevant issue?

We finally agreed on the following ‘elements’: the future, consciousness, community, the holding back, inner knowing, the pain of the world, leadership and action. These were all elements that had been part of many conversations the days before. As we were all representatives with one facilitator nobody was there to record it in any way. We all felt the need to harvest and even when it got late in the evening we gathered to share our basic insights; they were so rich! And I’m sure I don’t understand them all so far!

I probably will post the whole learning later on, but I sit now with one ‘event’ in the constallation that I’m wondering about. At a certain point there was a strong message from Inner Knowing to go to Leadership and to support it. She went to stand next to Leadership and they gave hands. It was obvious that it supported Leadership in a very good way. I’m puzzled about how to translate that into my daily life…

I’m aware as I am writing these postings about the gathering that the other participants can and will have a total different story to tell. I was only one part of this collective Being that had it’s own wisdom and cycles. I can only describe it trough my own lense.

In terms of the U-process we had more or less passed the eye of the needle and the morning on the third day started with a different energy. We were now in the phase of co-presencing. Personally I didn’t have a clue how to move forward, no tools or designs would come up in myself, but there was a deep trust in the process and in the collective.

And this trust turned out to be more than worthwhile!

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This I wrote on the second day, that Judy earlier named as a day of chaos.

I started today with a strange feeling. Normally when facilitating a group I don’t have a fixed design, but when I sense into it some time before I always get a clear idea of what needs to happen. Not today! I contemplated on it for some time, but no: no idea would show up! And the ideas that Judy and I came up with some days before didn’t seem to fit neither. But strange enough, there was not any anxiety about it.

Arriving at the venue where others were eating breakfast it suddenly became clear, although we were talking ‘about’ the edge, and many good things happened and were shared, we were not on the edge. So I invited everyone to some movement and dancing with some questions: Are we still in a comfortable place, or our we really on the edge where it is risky? Are we sensible enough to listen, hear, feel the information from the collective field in between us?

Reflecting on this I could see – in terms of the U-process – how we had shifted to an Open Heart and an Open Mind, but that the step into an Open Will was much more difficult to take. It is almost funny to see when you know that this phase of chaos needs to happen and everybody is trying out her own pattern of survival and lots of proposals are done, but none is followed upon. The ‘hanging in’ here is important, because sooner or later the shift to real community will happen if you stick to real truth. The message spoken through one of us made us realise that we were a ‘real’ collective.

again by Judy!

This afternoon was moving in and out of confusion and chaos.  I guess this is part of the process.  I felt we were really all coming from different places.  I could not discern a voice from the Middle.  I think we were not at all tuned into any collective knowing.  We were working with Action Learning, which is probably a very good tool, but not working well in this context.  We did not seem to converge on a question or have group buy-in to the process.   So we seemed to stop and start and restart.

All the while most present for me were the questions:

What is our Circle Task?
What if we are doing this FOR the world?

Many seemed to feel the question of how we were to make a difference in the world was too big.  Or that it was presumptuous to think we could really be much more than a ripple in a stream.  I was yearning to move into a deeper inquiry, a deeper space, into communion with a question, almost any question.  I know that from Moving the Edge last March I had worked through some of my uncertainty and fear with this process.  And yet it is still an edge.  After once touching into speaking from the Middle, I would forever want to return there, to that incredible and liberating power of knowing.  To that little worn groove in consciousness, that is now a bit more familiar.  The possibilities are so vast.  The opportunity to shift consciousness even in a small way is so attractive energetically.  It is as if consciousness is calling, magnetizing me and us to answer, to listen, to sense into, to be present, to co-sense, and to co-presence.  Once knowing this experience it becomes a capacity that must be utilized, that must be put into service.  The sense of urgency is compelling.

And then near the end of this long afternoon, Ria spoke as consciousness spoke through her.  I sat in silent support, holding the space, honoring her as the vessel.  Lisa captured her words; I was in stillness and awe of the clarity and presence of what emerged.  I defer here to Lisa’s rendering.  It was a huge shift for us.  We all knew it.

And then we moved easily and gently into dinner and a relaxing evening of conversation.  We glowed around the fire and admired the incredible pictures captured on Helen’s camera – colorful renderings of our faces, our hands, our time, and the beautiful setting that is the Heerlijckyt.

A Blessed day!

Blogentry by Judy

What is behind the shadow? The long held and suppressed multiple ways of women knowing. The natural ways that have been suppressed in consciousness – from Witch hunts, the Inquisition, and our own permission. The wisdom of the body, of the womb, of ritual, ceremony, intuition and of the mental and feeling natures.
And now … And now we can begin to rediscover from this level of consciousness, we can create new ways of knowing from this place integrating all, bringing a wholeness to knowing, a new stage on the evolutionary spiral. From the interval, the space between, in time and between us, we can bring forward these sensing organs, nurture this as if a baby in the womb, that is being birthed through us. We have the power to co-create, to co-discover, to nurture, to bring something greater into being, into the world, to change the world.
Comfort Zone and beyond What is ego still holding on to, how do I still make myself feel safe? Is there fear – yes in the not-knowing, in the nothingness, in the fear of being lost. And yet I know that beyond the ego self is the Self, the one who has no fear, no past or future, no need for anything except to be in fullness, in now, and to emerge. No need for comfort as there is no fear. It is really the One, a Collective Self. The only me that is there is an instrument of how this Collective Self will move in the world, through this human consciousness.
The Circle Being So how can we as a circle of women co-create access to this Self? Are there practices that can take us there? How are death, emptiness, the womb, rebirth, nurturance all connected? Who is the She, the Collective She? How can being in a state of inquiry be liberating, safe in a way, free of all limitations, beyond the fears, pain, holding back of the ego self. Is the long held and dwelt upon pain and suffering a comfort zone? I am exhausted from the pain and fear of pain that lives within me. Can I allow what pulls and attracts me to be the draw, at least to the next level of safety and comfort? Can I be in the chaos that surrounds and infuses this journey? With the not-knowing. I am so used to knowing, to the comfort of mental models. Can I move to this frontier? Can we?

This opening for Women Moving the Edge carried so many rich insights as each woman brought herself into the circle, the emergent field. I was reminded of what Ria and I came to in our pre-gathering time together – the wholeness of knowing. In response to the question of what is really present for you right now, each in her own way spoke of the Edge. There was fear, letting go, knowing that knowing means knowing with others and no longer alone, and yet there is aloneness. There was a sense that we know the Edge, we feel or sense it, but what is it? Some words or phrases that seem to fall into alignment with meaning were:
• Inner / wisdom / intuition / body – again something about the wholeness of knowing.
• Collective field / being / knowing / sensing / collective memory
• Death / endings / letting go / rebirth
• The space between / the interval / death / emptiness/ liberation / rebirth

For me there was a lot about the “I and the We” and the dance between individual and collective knowing, individual and collective leadership and where I move with this. I don’t know how to do collective leadership. I struggle with how much of me, the ego self, should be present. And yet I know it is to be the Self, beyond ego who engages. Somehow I am not free yet, free enough to be there without ego attachment to the outcome. And letting go, moving beyond the Edge, the leap into the unknown brings so much uncertainty, so much fear, is beyond any trust I can find within me. I often feel so alone and yet know that I need the collective, the inter-subjective, the inter-relational, to be fully the I within the We. To fully participate, to engage beyond any personal agenda. Something in me knows this holds unlimited potential and yet I cannot seem to make the leap. This brings me back to death. What must die? To move into nothingness to discover what is there beyond ego.

The Full Moon meditation for me is always very aligned and energetically powerful. It is the power of thought, of focused intention, of vibration through thought and word aligning to shift grooves in consciousness – and I cannot know how, I will never know the result. Still I do it, energize it, and continue to radiate heightened qualitative energy to the planet. It is always an honor to participate with others in the service. I also have the sense that the field is strengthened by this meditation and we can go forward with that into the following days.

It is not only the full moon of Pisces but also a lunar eclipse. We take to bed, into the night, into our night life the question of what is behind the shadow that now wants to be revealed? What have we women been holding back that is now ready to come fully into being? Into the light?

Helen mentioned early on that what we do here can make it easier for the next group to move more deeply into collective knowing. (not her exact words, but I hope the sense). And I resonate to that, to creating new grooves in consciousness that help make the way for others, that help shift consciousness. It seems on a grander scale this is our role in conscious evolution.

Fascinating, this start with 9 women who didn’t know each other before, and after a few hours we feel connected as if we knew each other since a long time.

We started with dancing to be present in our bodies, we went into silence without anybody saying to do it, and we had a moving, deep and inspiring check-in. One of ‘our’ words that came up: edgy stuff.

We did a harvest right after we heard all the stories of what was present to us, and some themes already came up.

There was fascination about how quick we had been able in establishing this intimate field. We realised that the more we bring ourselves on the edge in a group, it becomes quicker and faster for other groups to do it too. Maybe to come together intentionally as women we can birth a bigger, better and healthier field!

Another line: the whole thing is about being in the process; we get it and then we loose it again. But the process in itself is empowering and we can enjoy the search, because there is no fixed destination.

Somebody spoke about death and rebirth; and the full moon meditation we did in the evening had this as main theme too. Death is part of life, and can be a door to a deeper wisdom.

What lit up in listening to all the stories was the quality of needing each other. Marianne said: “Aloneness, or singularity, is essential in this field. Without that there is no meeting, no touching possible.” This struck me really deep. I saw in an instant that I need the collective to be able to go deeper in myself, to become more me; not in the personality-sense but as in a deeper dying of the ego.

After the full moon meditation Judy sent us to bed with a question, related to the moon eclips: “What is it in us, that is behind the shadow, that wants to emerge?”

Yesterday, in a conversation with Claudia – let’s call her a spiritual business woman – it became clearer to me what is actually one of the driving questions for me to initiate this gathering of Women Moving the Edge. This gathering will take place in a few days here in Belgium, in a very special and nice place De Heerlijckyt van Elsmeren.

The question is: As women, do we really take the full leadership of what we are able to? For myself I translate it to: Do I really live to my highest potential?

Claudia mentioned that she sees many women who don’t take real responsibility for their lives; they don’t make things happen. And I’m wondering: why is that? I know a lot of women do take responsibility for their lives, their families, their neighbourhoods and lots more; but it is a more deeper level that I’m looking at here. I am holding the question: Is there something like a collective, women’s ego that is holding us back from doing the real thing, to make something happen that only we can do?

A few days ago I received an email pointing to a new project Standing Women. It seems nice, and can be very powerful, but I’m wondering is that really all that we have to do? Standing in silence for peace? Is that feminine leadership? I know, I have a lot of questions here, and I really don’t have answers… only a sense that there is more – at least for me – to do. Standing still for peace, even for hours on end, is not the real challenge for me… but then what is it? The only thing I do know is that I need others in a deep conversation to go beyond the not-knowing and into a new inner knowing…

“ Under the chaos there is something beautiful cooking.” Silas

There seems to be magic at work in Kufunda that attracts people like a strong magnet and what made a lot happening in a short period of time. Many buildings arose: a classroom, two dormitories, a dining room and kitchen, a library, an office and many houses and compost toilets. All this in an area surrounded by poverty and in a country where prices have doubled each month lately. However, the magic is bigger than the physical alone! We can see and name some of its elements but magic is and always stays: magic!

It seems to me that underneath this magic is the belief that life is good and abundant. This belief in ‘the capitals’ – in what is inside us and all around us – translates in many forms. It is an appreciative way of looking at life itself.

Learning
What I see in these young people and what I hear from the stories is the deep practice of personal development. Learning by own choice; going from one job to another; the easy flow of learning in one field and teaching in another: all opportunities for becoming, for growing into full potential. The collective tools of meditation, sitting in circle, World Café and Open Space are practiced again and again. They are used in every meeting, for every topic you can think of.

Love
The practices of individual and collective hosting, the processes of learning bring them to a place of love. Conflicts and ‘bad’ stuff are not avoided, but taken into the circle with lots of courage and balanced with love. Love and sharing is promoted and there is a deep equality all over the palace that bridges cultures, ages and levels of education.

Community – relationships – interconnections
The diversity we meet is not at random but it is invited in. It keeps this living system vibrant with life. Relationships are build with four rural and one urban community, with many organizations and individuals in Zimbabwe and beyond.

Magic for the future
Kufunda and some other learning centers seem to create a new pathway for humanity. A pathway that doesn’t believe in poverty, but in sharing and in peace; a pathway of the heart, a pathway of old wisdom connected with new technologies, a pathway of individual and collective practice and learning. As all pathways newly formed, they only get visible and attractive when practiced a lot.
If humanity is one, if the morfogenetic fields are at work, then more magic is to come!

“A deeper tradition gets born where the wholeness of everything can be seen.” Phil Cass