Archive for November, 2011

Different areas of connection

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

This blog post first appeared on the harvest blog of the recent Art of Hosting training, held in Berlin.

Due to circumstances in the venue we were not able to open this Art of Hosting training with a proper check-in circle. This made the field in the room a bit wobbly this first morning, until we were able to do it after lunch. One harvest of this check-in was made by Mary-Alice in a harvest poem, and this blog post will be another attempt to share the collective meaning, as perceived by myself.

In the preparation day before we heard stories from the calling team about Berlin, its specific energy and the habits of people living there. I hadn’t been fully aware of this particular ‘culture’ and energy field, but in this circle it came through as “a lack of connection” and the “sadness” that goes with that. We heard many stories of people being in Berlin temporarily – a few months, a few years – and even someone who arrived from Canada just last week.

In the World Café before lunch I was struck by someone saying – after having been 3 years abroad – that “a commitment to a place (Berlin in her case) is the first step in belonging somewhere.” I had never given this full thought before because for me – born, raised and still living in Belgium – my connection with the land is such a daily presence and so obvious that I go with the unchecked assumption that this is so for most people. At least in Europe I thought. In the check-in I heard this longing for connection and this commitment spoken in different ways and on different levels.

First there was the level of connection with and in myself. People were talking about presence, about authenticity and about dignity. Mentioning the longing and hope of connecting the brain with the body. And not just that; also connecting this with the heart and into the action. Crucial in all this is the ‘hosting myself first’, which is so crucial when we step into hosting others and when the situation is getting unclear or chaotic. Can we be grounded in every situation? Can we get back into trusting ourselves – a commitment to myself – instead of following a leader or following a plan?

The next level people were mentioning in the check-in was the level of a little group or team. How can we move to a flow together; weave ourselves intentionally into a living system? Here friendship was mentioned a few times. Later we would name it in the hosting team not as ‘friendship for friendship’s sake’, but friendship in service of the shared purpose.

Then people named a big, big longing for community. It really surprised me that people could not name their own community! It surprised me, just as hearing that people are not really connected to the place they live on/in. And in my view, these two are related. I know that when life situation gets worse, I can rely on my garden an the neighbors to support one another. That is my local community. Next to that I have my trans-local community – actually I have different ones – that support me in my learning and evolution.

Lastly I heard people speak about “living the dream” and the field of emergence, where one becomes committed to the potential. Have you ever wondered how many acorns can come forth from one acorn that becomes a full grown oak? There was the object and the metaphor of the Rubric cube, with the invitation not to solve the cube, but to discover what you see when you turn or twist some of it. Maybe for the future we can offer questions instead of solutions? Can we make creative stuff out of ordinary things? Can it be fun, beautiful and creative all at the same time? Can we bring back in our innocence?

It was very rich and I was glad that we took the time to check-in with over 50 people, although it meant we had to skip a planned teaching session. It build the rim of our circle, and made it strong to hold deep exploration, experimentation, some conflict and the groan zone. Some say ‘the circle is the mother of all social technologies’. This is how it lives in me.

New Story

Monday, November 14th, 2011

A poem that expresses what I see and sense, what I have come to understand lately – by a good friend from far away. Tenneson is living in Utah most of the time, and he is a good poet, among many, many other things!

New Story

It is said that the universe is expanding.
Billions on billions of stars and galaxies
further reaching out from a center.

I can see the spiraling, the clusters of order.
Phenomenal beauty at phenomenal scale.
Vastness living into vastness.

It is said that complexity is created from simplicity.
Simple pattern reiterated at scale,
expressed as fractal, to intricate whole.

I am learning to see pattern.
The unspoken and the spoken ones in strange attraction.
The way humans construct, knowingly or not, into structures.

I am aware that acorns become oaks.
Compelled into form,
unfolded from an inherent DNA.

I am aware that humans too
tumble forward in form.
Recreating familiar pattern of consciousness.

Yet doesn’t it seem like much is changing, now, in this time?
That there is awakening and churning
from a place that feels like more.

I tell myself that consciousness itself is expanding,
vastness into vastness.
And that we humans are into a new scale.

I tell myself that from simple pattern,
our fundamental identity is iterating
into new species.

Familiar, yes.
Related, yes.
But very new.

Seeing wholes in what was parts.
Seeing the visible
in what was not visible.

I don’t know if the Oak is becoming something new.
But we are expanding. We are fractaling.
We are compelled forward into new form.

It is a new story.
Or an old one if you prefer.
It is invitation.

Not healing, but liberation

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

In the constellation Light said: “We are in an updraft and we are all going together, while our feet are firmly planted on the Earth. There is a funnel spiraling up and down.” It took my attention right away, although I didn’t understand it really. Later in the debrief more became clear: “The uplifting is not just healing, but a liberation. Healing has to do with progression in time and space – unfolding in sequence. Healing is a kind of fixing, that will never be an inclusive impulse, as will a true liberation of the form into a different vibration of resonance. Healing is always regressive, to identify the broken. Allow the descending of a more refined energy than necessary to fix in the past.”

If you think of it, healing is a funny and curious thing. Whatever the facts were that caused the hurt and the wounding, healing can happen. People can shift their perspective; change their story. Ultimately they heal themselves; when they allow it to happen. Being a long-time therapist I know my work is not the healing itself, but help the conditions to be there so that the allowing – the possibility – of re-identification becomes present. One my teachers in trauma-healing would say: “Healing happens in the present.” It is happening in the present, but it shifts our view on the past.

pinwheel640

Now let us take that same dynamic, that possibility, that principle where a change happens in the present, but it changes or influences the future! I guess that is what this liberation and our re-identification is about. From the healing experience we can understand that this is also possible in the other direction, towards what is to come. Using and understanding quantum physics can help us here to get a grasp on it. It is real – in scientific terms – that reality is a cloud of probabilities, a wealth of possibilities.

One of us said: “It seems we are trying to bridge our physical reality – and its needs and hurts – and our spiritual reality.” I guess that will bring us the wings, the capacity to soar freely. We will all be healed and liberated to a new level of existence.

Wouldn’t that be a miracle?

Thoreau wrote: “There is a field of a wholly new life, that even this earth was made for more mysterious and noble inhabitants than men and women.”

Re-identification

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

Everybody who has participated in a systemic constellation knows its power. But many times our minds are kind of left behind. They have difficulty to grab it, to understand it. As Judy and I were looking back at the recent gathering and were re-reading the transcript and debrief of the constellation we realized that the concept of re-identification was a crucial part of the answer to the question that had been guiding our gathering; and we hadn’t seen it before.

WMtE11 question small

One answer to our question was to understand the importance of invocation, to consciously relate with the subtle realms in all what we do. It is not so much about asking for help – from a place of not being able ourselves and needing someone else doing it – but more about standing (very!) present in our intention and invoke the subtle realms to be present too in the co-creation that can bring the intention to manifestation.

Another point I understood more deeply is the fact of co-evolution. If everything is connected, as we all say and belief; and if connection is understood as interweaving and interpenetrating than it has to be that other dimensions are co-evolving with us. I guess I had still a very naive idea about nature spirits, angels and the like. Very much how I looked at it as a child. Now I see and know more the energetic layers, entities and fields; as I have come to sense group fields, cultural fields and fields of potential. Probably the concept of fields is closer to my interest in physics and the new discoveries in that field.

Both these points contribute to my understanding of re-identification. My sense of who I am is expanded in this way. It embraces now more dimensions. In the constellation, the Intermediary Realms said: “You can do all I can do and more.” I’m still not sure what that would mean in my regular, daily life. But maybe that is exactly the point – that I move more to a life where synchronicities and magic are the default?!? I already live with a very deep trust that life and the universe provide me with the resources needed. Money, big material gifts and exceptional opportunities have shown up in my life in a way that I could not have planned for; ever! Maybe I need to pay more attention to these miracles. Because that is what they are! In naming them as synchronicities I have taken some of its magic away. Can we – can I – use the word miracle again? Allow more of the wonder? The awe? Wouldn’t that bring more joy and playfulness in my life – as was also part of our question?

A total new idea that came out of the constellation and the debrief was seeing evolution of humanity on the earth in a way bigger way end seeing how my personal memory of the destruction of Atlantis made sense in that. S. pictured for us that we are now in the fifth time that the human experience could end in an extinction. And maybe we can do it differently now. The work we are doing with Women Moving the Edge, the Collective Presencing and these kind of constellations seem to be part of a new matrix to make that happen.

Here a part of the debrief, which says it better than I can:

“I want to try to bring the vision of wholeness that I saw in the constellation.

The plan of destruction will bring an urge for a huge massive destruction and death, as in the past. We are trying to create another, alternate reality with a vitality necessary to bring that flow, so that destruction is not necessary.

From places from the earth that were here before, but not now; those stayed in the etheric realm waiting for the time to re-enter and co-exist in coherence with our etheric and the Earth as well. Much of our impatience can be at a level that will allow these fields – that have already been coded to interact with the humans and Earth is a vibrational field – to be at a level where these fields can interpenetrate with ours. They are already coded for Earth. This offers a huge liberation promise of co-existence, from those who have lived here before.

I believed we need to go to the higher form (soul + angels = wellness) and co-create there; but another strategy in co-creating is for humans to rise enough in love and wisdom and the feminine to co-create and interpenetrate with the other realms and with the other human aspects from these other times of new beginnings.   This is not magical thinking. This is another possibility of manifestation with a congruent level of maturation.”

WMtE11 reidentification

Re-identification implies a dying of our old identity. To do that we need a safe place. That’s where the circle and its practice come in. Individual healing happens many times when stories are shared in a circle kind of environment. But also shifting our collective identity as humans seems to happen in this consciously held container. Again one of the representatives of the constellation speaking, the Intermediate Realms:

“We remind you of holding the totality of the experience and the vision – above and below. Join as sisters; as community, we join together. Only then can we descend enough to participate with you in this experience.  ….. It is in the configuration of the circles, the coming together of groups like this – each having ramifications, way further than you can imagine. Because some no longer have bodies, it is not that we don’t believe in action.

We can assist you to re-identify who you are, the totality of who you are. You are more than hurting feet, hurting backs… each of you are ripples, like throwing stones in a pond of expanding awareness. Like the story of the 100th monkey.”

Systemic Constellation

Monday, November 7th, 2011

This is a long ‘comment’ here in this tread. Like many Women Moving the Edge gatherings before we did a constellation in the end, on the last day. It might be long to read, but it holds many important points of information and understanding, that’s why I post it here – both the description of the constellation itself and the debrief and conversation that followed it.

ACTUAL CONSTELLATION

This constellation was run by letting people stand up as representatives as they felt moved to do that.

Immediately the Great Mother / Goddess (we will use Mother to refer to her here) stood up, and was more or less in the middle for the whole time. Masculine Energy came standing behind the Mother pretty soon, to support and hold her. Then Blood came in and lay down, next to the Mother. She didn’t feel well at all (she was also called the Wound). Another element that came in early on was Language (later renamed as Communication and Sound). She first held one foot on Blood, later removed that foot.

Other elements that came in where: Blood Transfusion, to help the Blood; Heart, two separate Wings attached on each side of the Mother; Light, who was more on the outside of the constellation; Children; Play, and the Intermediate Realms – as we were investigating in this gathering how we can co-create consciously with the subtle levels.

As Blood was really not well, at a certain point the Masculine started to hum. Then this representative went over to pick up a gong that happened to be in the room. She used the gong several times. Much to the surprise of Transfusion this made Blood feel better, so that eventually she could stand up. After that the Children could come closer to the Mother.

We don’t have a full transcript of the beginning of the constellation

Light: We are in an updraft and we are all going together, while our feet are firmly planted on the Earth. There is a funnel spiraling up and down.

Blood: The wound was healed without the masculine apologizing.

Play asked Light to help bring joyfulness as we proceed into the next step. Light breathes through joy and the constellation; mirroring back its true self.

Blood left the center of the constellation and sat down in a chair, but she still was ‘in’; saying: Blood of the Mother is the planet. She loves us – in layers – in and way out, all the tribal people we don’t even know about. Feels like blood spreading out.

Intermediate realms  – an intermediary is no longer needed, but  I long for your ongoing reciprocity.

Mother: healing is happening again; this is why we came together.  Wherever you are – my wings, my back, you heal, you love.  Healing continues because of your willingness to step forward.

Wing: I speak from all messengers – a vision beyond healing, heartful light growing into wisdom and balance. As hawks going out today, that is our work.

Children (at the feet of the Mother): The Children are joyful and connected. Children love the Mother.

Play: is joyful that the Children are happy.

Wing2: feels the updraft and the breezes.

Light: when Blood spoke of the tribes – those cocooned in the ethers between humanity and ?  Not healed, but liberated.

Blood Transfusion: thanked the Blood for bringing attention to the Blood. We frequently move past.

Language: with a healthy new ecosystem, no worry about what to say.    Light and heart know.

Blood: Language is vibrational. Sound is essential. Comfortable clotting with Sound.

Light: Light needs sound, heart notices throat of silence. Seeking sound is part of the new womb. Throat activates through breath – both silence and sound.

Heart: I need to collaborate and unite with Blood and Transfusion to open to the Mother.

Transfusion is grateful to be back in the blood bank. I did not believe that sound healing of the Masculine would heal the wounding; but I found out that it did heal.

Play: great uprush of energy hearing that the indigenous people and other beings would be free.

DEBRIEF

We had left half an hour before lunch would begin, so we started the debrief right away.

Masculine Energy: As soon as the Mother stood up, I came in because I felt called to hold the Feminine, the Goddess (Mother).

Language: I had one foot on Blood. Communication injures the Mother in many ways, and the Blood. It felt heavy and laborsome. Good grief, where is the sound?

Then I, Language/Communication stood on my own feet. I was joyful and felt relieved for two seconds. Communication is very laborious.

I was first Language, then Communication, later Sound. Sound felt like the right word. In Language the words are heavy. Not with Sound, because the Blood is sound. The Goddess is sound.

Mother/Goddess: Sound is vibration, energy, force.

Transfusion: The supply of blood is limited. There was not more. I wanted the Mother to survive. Healing the wounds, we have to see the wounds and not ignore them, but acknowledge or we will lose the Mother. She was healed.  Women can heal the earth without depending on the men.  To expect things outside instead of changing oneself is unrealistic.  We must heal the self.

Play: I was so aware.  It felt like a heavy, somber, and serious occasion. This crowd is heavy; I tried to not let it get me down and to stay in lightness. It was amazing how much seriousness does weigh down our people and the world. I was wondering how to spread the joy and bring it to each of the parts of the constellation to lift up, and be ready for life, for what comes up.

Wing 1: Hence the wings! There is something delightful in having feathers!

Blood: I would have loved the laughter.

Intermediate realm: The constellator didn’t ask me how I felt when I came into the constellation! (as she normally does with every new element arriving) And this is exactly our question here!

Transfusion: I wasn’t asked either; it felt like ignoring the wound. When the constellation was healed I was joyful. Joy comes from inside as a light being.

Children: The children could not come in until the healing was done; I could not get to the Mother before that. When Light came in, the Children could come in. Children were invited by the Intermediate/Subtle and attracted by the Joy/Play; Children needed the Light first. Children want to say the Communication is so heavy, while sound is so pure; we weigh it down with too much meaning. Light, color is communication; the vibration lifted so I could come in. It can happen at all levels.

Transfusion: I’m still amazed that the sound could heal the Mother.

Male: The male felt holding and could not release the holding before the sound came through.

Light: It (the sound) was the only way that Light could come in.

Blood: The Blood needed the young mother (sitting in the circle during the constellation) – you are the new! The blood needs you!

WMtE11 CariandchildYoung mother: I was paying attention to the Blood, I was reaching out for her glasses! As a young mother, there was no one calling to me!

Blood: I didn’t call, because I didn’t want to intrude!

Young mother: Being divorced, there is something in being a head of a household – needing to do everything – it stops the connecting.

Blood: You need the extended family; the older women!

Wing1: Intermediate was holding the middle realms. Wing felt lost when Intermediate realm left.  Wings can come only when there has been a lot of birth and a lot of death; life is continuous. The bond with the other realms. There is a moment, a cogwheel of the great mother, into eternity. It is what it is.

After lunch we started with a toning for coherence. I remember it was very beautiful.

Male: The masculine, when toning in his own voice, he was still holding. When the sound of the gong came through (she had taken the gong that happened to be in the room, and had started to beat it), in a different vibration and tone; that brought him to a place of being able to release. It was the feminine that made him able to release.

Heart: I was facing outside, and two deer came and looked in, from opposite directions; they looked into the room for some time.  Deer is my totem. To stand up as the Heart was very meaningful to me. Very recently my center moved from the solar-plexus to the heart.  So much light now. What I came away with is: Healing is possible! Not only healed, but doing the heart-work.

Wing1: Speaking a request to continue a gestalt conversation between herself and Intermediate world. I am embarrassed not honoring the wounds of the feminine, all the women and their suffering. Yet there is the new energy of courage, the wings of the stature of Victory.  I don’t want to go too quickly about the wounding, before going to the vision. (Blood was identified as Wound also, as she had been lying on the floor a long time) I need to go home with vision. Women have all things going on in her lives, and yet we are wired to pick up the vibes of a new energy coming up. Hold the vision of what is coming next and be here now.  Come from a place higher than the self. I immediately saw the Mother appearing with wings.

Wing2: I have had these concerns. It is about coming from a higher level, in the things that we do.

Wing1: Asking to Blood: are we disconnected from your need?

Blood: mother alone with family moving to higher self so that would have potential of a new earth. It is truly beautiful, but there must be a demonstration. When Wing2 talks about living from a higher self, that would have a potentiality of a new dream… it is beautiful; but it doesn’t do anything for blood. There must be a demonstration: sound, breath, matter, movement etc. – action in this material world; that is exactly what the Blood needs, this demonstration. The material world allows divinity to be in form. I am part of this planet, it supports me and …

Wing2: Is the baby (body?) the demonstration?

Blood: Baby needs to be supported and cared for in the family.

Intermediate realms: It is possible to experience sorrow and grief; joy and playfulness simultaneously; but only when you are grounded into matter/Mother. As spirit infuses matter, joy is possible simultaneously.

We are all beloved sisters, we hold each other in the physical and the non-physical. In the collective we can experience birth, death, rebirth. This has been happening for eons now; what is happening now is re-identification: you can do all that I can do and more. We are at a point in evolution. We are that: joy, sorrow, human, invisible – not separate beings out there. …. indeed, don’t forget.

There are many from different streams to support. You too exist in all these realms simultaneously. Receive now the love that is here and in the other realms – and remember the totality of who you are, with tears, joy and playfulness.

Transfusion: You are not embodied. When I am raped, I die. You can come along. I see battered faces, that’s not OK. Walking down here in physical form… You have great lofty ideas, but…

Wing1 (to Transfusion): Speak to us about timing!

Transfusion: We have not yet moved to the time to create the miracles. There is not enough belief in the multidimensional reality. We are not there yet. Until then we have to say stop the rape, stop the war.

Wing1 (to Blood and Transfusion): I live with the hope of what is to come. Wing carries the vision and the wounding.

Transfusion: I honor you, but so may are living in…

Intermediate realms: Those of us who have lived embodied, but not now embodied, these are not lofty ideas. There are now enough humans on the planet who can rise, who can come to co-create with us. We too, feel the sorrow, and your joy. We remind you of holding the totality of the experience and the vision – above and below. Join as sisters; as community, we join together. Only then can we descend enough to participate with you in this experience.

Blood (to Intermediate realms): I hear you, I understand you. Yes, many hold this vibration on the planet.  What troubles me is that we need to act; this call for action, in my heart, is to use whatever it takes. We need to use the sound; we need to stand from love, move forward in a loving way.

Intermediate realms: It is in the configuration of the circles, the coming together of groups like this – each having ramifications, way further than you can imagine. Because some no longer have bodies, it is not that we don’t believe in action.

We can assist you to re-identify who you are, the totality of who you are. You are more than hurting feet, hurting backs… each of you are ripples, like throwing stones in a pond of expanding awareness. Like the story of the 100th monkey. So yes, right heart, right action, right speech, and awareness. We want to participate with you, don’t shut us out.

Blood: I will not shut you out.

Constellator: Occupy came out in cities all over the world. There is an impulse there. How do we weave our competencies there together?

Participant1: with intention.

Participant2: Moving to the bigger picture… What is that call in me? A gathering in Greece – 100 to 150 participants – I hold the power to call it, to activate it; not to facilitate it. It will be a pivotal point… it is now a total breakdown. A call to you: open every door you see!

Intermediate Realms: I was only playing one of the many streams in the subtle.

Participant2: I’m living in more than this world. The co-creation with the subtle, as the portals open – either to exist or to stay here. I have come to understand I have a role on that side as well.

How are you going to use your powers? I think it is time to start thinking big!

Light (speaking to Transfusion): I feel your pain. You speak for so many indigenous people; for so long.

Participant 3: The ‘and’ is so important; living in the ‘and’…

Light: The uplifting is not just healing, but a liberation. Healing has to do with progression in time and space – unfolding in sequence. Healing is a kind of fixing  that will never be an inclusive impulse, as will a true liberation of the form into a different vibration of resonance. Healing is always regressive, to identify the broken. Allow the descending of a more refined energy than necessary to fix in the past.

I want to try to bring the vision of wholeness that I saw in the constellation.

The plan of destruction will bring an urge for a huge massive destruction and death, as in the past. We are trying to create another, alternate reality with a vitality necessary to bring that flow, so that destruction is not necessary.

From places from the earth that were here before, but not now; those stayed in the etheric realm waiting for the time to re-enter and co-exist in coherence with our etheric and the Earth as well. Much of our impatience can be at a level that will allow these fields – that have already been coded to interact with the humans and Earth is a vibrational field – to be at a level where these fields can interpenetrate with ours. They are already coded for Earth. This offers a huge liberation promise of co-existence, from those who have lived here before.

I believed we need to go to the higher form (soul + angels = wellness) and co-create there; but another strategy in co-creating is for humans to rise enough in love and wisdom and the feminine to co-create and interpenetrate with the other realms and with the other human aspects from these other times of new beginnings.   This is not magical thinking. This is another possibility of manifestation with a congruent level of maturation. Steiner talked about Christ consciousness and Buddha consciousness.

I saw this morning (in the constellation) a synthesis of love and wisdom principles, held in a stillness. The constellation would result in that kind of synthesis, held in a stillness.

Language/Communication:  It’s already and always present. Is it only us becoming present to this.  A matter of our awareness.

Light: There are certain skills that we can cultivate, to teach towards, to align with these ways of re-organizing this integration process.  Telepathic rapport is one skill– it can be taught.

A way to bring the vision into the form. The Light could not come in without the Sound; it will come in when there is something to identify with, like the sound vibration. It is having compassion for the pain, not ignoring it – listen to the language of the Blood.

There is something in the morphic field we are coded with: a fear of death, of dying, because of the memories of these times of cataclysm. We could change this. We have the longing to be in a higher vibrational state and to be in form.  The innate fear would be less.

Notice that we are evolving – all; all levels; no one way, notice all the ways. There are many forms of action; each a creative act.

I cannot be a flock of birds on my own.

Sunday, November 6th, 2011

Although I didn’t see a flock of hawks in the journey as others did, I saw an image of a circle of women, holding an energetic tissue between them; coming out of their vaginas; all floating freely in the air. In the morning circle I ended my invitation with saying: I cannot be a flock of hawks on my own.

WMtE11 Ruth's place smallAs this gathering was aimed at looking at the co-creation with the subtle realms there were a lot of participants who had a lot of experience and competence in communicating with and knowing about these energies. It made again clear to me how much of an earth and nature person I am.

Through hearing many stories I came to understand better that the metaphorical flock of hawks not only included us humans, but also energies from other dimensions. I also understood way deeper that the co-evolution of all dimensions goes in every direction in this web of life; it is not by any means a two-way thing. This means also that as a group of human beings we cannot be a flock of birds, we need to connect, to co-create with the subtle beings/layers/energies.

Through Ruth came these words: We are holding you, as you are holding us. (more would come later in another fascinating systemic constellation – to be posted later!)

Being in love with the future

Saturday, November 5th, 2011

There was another energy present in the room when we gathered on Sunday morning. Many women who hadn’t slept the night before, now reported to have slept well. Sleeping is hardly ever a problem for me. I sleep everywhere and mostly long and well; but the previous day had gone through my mind; both in that in between state between awake and sleep; and again in the morning.

In that pondering I had understood something more of what we had called somewhere in a previous gathering or conference call; to be in love with the future. It is also part of the matrix and map that we are developing to understand steps and phases in becoming a Circle of Creation – a group that can generate emergent and wise action – but I did not understand it enough to be able to write about it coherently. Now, something became a little clearer to me.

WMtE11 Judybrush smallThinking back at the guided journey we did the day before, I became more interested in the take off point, that point that we normally link with fear, where we leave behind the known ways of doing. Being in love with the future means that your fear to be at that point has transformed into joyful anticipation of what might come next. For myself, it is a feeling like being in love. An anticipation of only good, exiting and inspiring things to happen; like a childlike wonder when you are given a lot of presents. I love that feeling and that space on the edge so much. Probably because it feels so alive! All your cells, all of your emotions, all of your brain are engaged. Can it be any better? Not for me.

This new insight I shared early in the circle that morning. It was an invitation to all to be with me on this edge where we could discover more of what a collective could be together. There were many voices in that morning circle that were calling us forth. S. spoke the following:

May you dance on the edge of discovery
and find exhilaration in the not-knowing.
Now that is fully living.
How will I choose to fully live?

I loved the words of (another) S. that followed: “Eat it up! Chew it up!” – as the not-knowing needs to be digested and taken in, and not be avoided. It takes a decision, a commitment to do that.

A perfect poem followed, read by Nina and written by Lalla, who lived in Kashmir in the 14th century:
WMtE11 brush small
I didn’t trust it for a moment,
the wine of my own poetry,
but I drank it anyway.

It gave me the daring to take hold
of the darkness and tear it down
and cut it into little pieces.

Being in love with the future means a conscious decision to let it happen.

The power of honoring

Friday, November 4th, 2011

I am not so exited after this second day as I was yesterday. I had expected with this group to go quicker to the point of not-knowing, to that edge that always seem to be in a different place; a next place. Even when we have been there a hundred times it is always totally new, not like anything that I or we have experienced before.

WMtE11 Lesley smallThe women in this gathering have tons of experience, high levels of (spiritual) training and education – this is a real powerful women’s circle! Great and important things were shared; some people made tons of notes. But what did we learn about our question, about co-creating with the subtle?
Did we move the edge of collective consciousness?
Did we speak from this place of not-knowing, from source?

Many of these women are highly trained in communicating with al kinds of subtle beings, energies and entities; but I came to understand that communication with these energies is different than co-creating – at least how I understand it so far. We all have our preferred communication channel, as we have our different learning styles and different kinds of memory. Some here see lights, colors or nature spirits, others understand what ET’s are and bring to us; others hear words; still others feel and know inside. Also in these subtle realms we each have our preferred way of noticing and remembering, just like in the manifest, three-dimensional world.

WMtE11 Louanne smallThere is one thing that really struck me today: the strength or power that exists in honoring (ourselves, or the Earth, or the feminine or anything). It is a total different kind of power than the struggle or the fight that we normally link with the word power. Honoring is strong in itself, because it is part of the sacred. Honoring is an inner movement that says something about the wholeness of life itself. The sacred, the honoring, is all part of a bigger, cosmic, divine wave –
a longer wave –
a bigger wave –
a deeper tide –
than the turbulence, chaos, wars etc. that we see on the surface level.

The strength does not come from being strong, but from being coherent; from being aligned. One of us would speak about compassion and being invisible. She meant with this: not causing any friction; not attracting attention from darker energies. She said the strength of compassion was highly underrated. It transcends all time and space, and is a complete emptiness; it is humility.

Connecting these two experiences – my little frustration and my insight about honoring – makes me now wonder: maybe I was not honoring (enough) the contributions of each woman in this day? Maybe I was not totally empty, had still some kind of expectations?

As I add this last paragraph later, I know now, that there were many gems in what happened and I look back at a rich experience. And I understand that the being that is Women Moving the Edge needed the input from these fabulous women, who contributed so much to my and our understanding of what co-creating with the subtle really means! (more is to come in next blog posts) We had understood before that the gatherings add so much of the needed diversity to the core of Women Moving the Edge. Imagine that we would go one with always the same group, we would miss so much valuable input.

New Way Hawks – Journey over the edge

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

There was one transmission/message of Saturday morning that would give us a metaphor that came back again and again. It was something that S. had heard during the first night; the title was New Way Hawks.

WMtE11 holdingturtleshell smallYou all have been gifted with hawk vision. You see the world of the future and how is must be shaped. Hawks view the world from above. They swoop down to take what they need – no more, no less – watch then and lessons will reveal themselves. Gratefully and powerfully they ride with the wind – not much effort – known for their grace.

Grace never stops giving – grace must be acknowledged for it will give you strength in the journey.

Understand.

Walk in the beauty of each other’s kindness. Support each other’s vision for the world; for in each of you is one part of the whole.

Think globally.

Think collectively.

At a certain point we did an exercise, a journey into our imagination and deeper sensing under the guidance of one of us and with support of the drum. Our intention was to look at what was ‘beyond the edge’. It was fascinating to hear that in sharing what we had ‘seen’ some elements were reported by more than one of us. One of them was this flock of hawks, taking off from the edge and soaring freely in the air. Another element were domes; and there were more, but I was too much focused on drawing what I had seen in my mind’s eye; so I didn’t take notes of the other elements.

WMtE11 drawingouterwomb mediumI remember from my experience also the fluid movement – like the birds – that different people spoke about; and the ease of moving from being on the edge to the next thing – like a lifting up, without any physical movement required. I don’t recall that any of us reported fear about that point of transition.

“It is that simple, stepping through the door.”

“It has to be done here and now.”

As you maybe can see in the picture of my drawing, I didn’t see hawks, but I saw women, all sitting cross-legged. They were not really sitting, as they all were kind of floating in the air. From their wombs came a piece of cloth, white, that they kind of held in-between them; again with no physical effort, more as an awareness. First this cloth was hanging loosely, but over time it stretched itself. In the end it looked more like a trampoline. I don’t remember much else from my ‘seeing’.

On the drawing I find now a few words, concepts and sentences that I truly don’t remember where they came from. My own wandering thoughts? Things other women were mentioning in our debrief from this exercise. But linking it back to the idea proposed in the video about the ‘outer vibrational womb’ they all make a lot of sense though.

“It is a natural organism.” – that’s exactly how it felt in the ‘seeing’; and that is also how it feels when it actually happens in a group; when there is a collective field that becomes tangible.

“Collective on the causal level” – I come to understand more and more that what we do in these kind of gatherings on the subtle level is maybe more important than all the words that we share. It as like the effect of systemic constellations that not only works for the one person present, but can have an effect on the whole system. In the future I think I will pay more attention to this. It also relates with what recent physics are inquiring into these days.

Unite Ignite

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

Another message that came through one of our voices:

WMtE11 Susan+ smallCreate your own pod and inspire.
Inspire each pod member to create their own pod.
You know what I mean, don’t you?

Exhibit kindness al around you and kindness will spread.

Lift your voices not in conflict but rather speaking of integrity.
Live well and you will all be an example for the future.

Understand?

Time is now, do not delay;
for the world system is in trouble.

If everyone does their part, a new system will emerge.
A new money system will emerge – not just one, but many.

Offer what you have, take only what you need.

Understand?