Chocolate and subtle sensing

People who know me in real time know that I love desserts. I used to say that it is my only addiction, as I don’t like coffee, don’t smoke and I am not fond of alcohol. Really, I have decided more than hundred times that I would stop eating (too much) chocolate or cookies and I never really managed.

Now something has shifted.

Since I am a very physically based person, and I am trained in emotional bodywork, I have an easy connection with subtle feelings in my body. Normally, when I go to bed, I fully stretch myself out and connect with a deep relaxation, both in my body and in my breath. This is a practice that has installed itself over the years. At some point I turn myself, lie on my side and fall asleep immediately.

During one of these evening sessions I noticed that my stomach was not relaxed; actually I realized it never is! Mmmm… something needed to be done here…

I focused on relaxing it and little shocks – more like tremblings – were releasing through my body. Somehow I could sense a fear when I tried to release even more. Not a big fear, but something on a very, very subtle level. It would be accurate to say that the fear wasn’t quite emotional, but was more on the level of my cells; almost instinctual. Doing this every evening I became aware that I had grounded myself in my stomach! Strange to say, but that was how it felt. Unconsciously – from early childhood – I had clinked to my stomach for security. Now I understood why I would always eat and snack more while being in any kind of stressful environment.

This brought a next awareness or insight about what I think grounding really means. I have always been a stable person – both physically and emotionally – and my ‘not so fine’ legs are a signal of this. For me it is easy to keep my balance and my legs have a lot of strength. It means I always have felt safe – and grounded – on/in my own legs. But I realized that feeling this is still not a real sense of grounding. Grounding has to do with ease and relax in your body, but it should also include a connection to the context you are in at the moment.

Back to chocolate, cookies, cake and eating. My eating pattern has really changed since I started relaxing my stomach. I notice it is now easy to eat just what I consciously decide to, and there are no moments – no! really! – when an invisible hand takes over and opens the cupboard or reaches for a next portion. I don’t even have to think about it, or ‘work’ on it.

It is relief – and the scale shows less weight – but most importantly it is a confirmation that I/we can reach subtle information in our bodies, and best of all: it helps or heals issues that always looked incurable.

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