Drinking tea with grandma
This was the title of my Open Space session, here in Axladitsa in the program Immersion. (now some three weeks ago) Of course everybody laughed when I announced it. But I had a sense that I had a lot of my life’s experience to offer to many of these people who are doing such great work in the world. Later I found out that I am the oldest person here; and after all, I am a real grandmother with a granddaughter of 9 months! (see picture!)
Two young women immediately showed up, before my tea was ready. They carried questions about Feminine Power. These bright young ladies ask themselves what is the New Feminine? They have been educated, they have work with great responsibilities and they want to do it differently than mainstream governance, politics, economics etc. But looking back at femininsm of the sixties, seventies or eighties, they don’t find inspiration or support that fits their situation.
We talked about the pitfall that many women fall into as they haven’t learned the difference between being good at relations and emotions – but easily getting overwhelmed by it or disempowered – and the more impersonal stance in these matters. This would mean to take care, but staying grounded and centered, even when great pain or big chaos shows up. It would also mean that women need to develop the language to speak about the topics of relationships and what they are sensing in order to become very explicit so that they can be understood.
Interestingly a man showed up to drink tea with us and he joined the conversation. This turned to a deep inquiry about the different qualities of the feminine and the masculine. I was reminded of a quote of a native grandmother somewhere: Men hold the love and women hold the knowledge; that is how it should be. I remember how it turned my understanding upside down when hearing it for the first time, and now it showed itself again.
We recognised that indeed the masculine has a great heart, and always wants to find solutions for the problems at hand. We were wondering if asking for help and protection was one of the new skills the new feminine has to integrate back – independent women as we all are?!? What if we would do this in service of the earth and life itself?
Probably the more feminine skills of sensing and relationship need to be used (more) in sensing things like right timing and alignment with the whole of the context we find ourselves in; including the Earth and the invisible and intangible.
Drinking tea at the little table in front of the house spilled over to the next days and generated more deep conversations… and for myself, being a grandmother who shares bits of her journey whenever needed, seemed to fit my mastery! I was surprised with that, but it feels very right and very comfortable. In our ‘debrief’ of the gathering yesterday it was recognised that ‘grandmothers holding the rim’ seemed very important for gatherings who want to be life affirming. More to be explored later I guess.