Opening by Judy
This opening for Women Moving the Edge carried so many rich insights as each woman brought herself into the circle, the emergent field. I was reminded of what Ria and I came to in our pre-gathering time together – the wholeness of knowing. In response to the question of what is really present for you right now, each in her own way spoke of the Edge. There was fear, letting go, knowing that knowing means knowing with others and no longer alone, and yet there is aloneness. There was a sense that we know the Edge, we feel or sense it, but what is it? Some words or phrases that seem to fall into alignment with meaning were:
• Inner / wisdom / intuition / body – again something about the wholeness of knowing.
• Collective field / being / knowing / sensing / collective memory
• Death / endings / letting go / rebirth
• The space between / the interval / death / emptiness/ liberation / rebirth
For me there was a lot about the “I and the We” and the dance between individual and collective knowing, individual and collective leadership and where I move with this. I don’t know how to do collective leadership. I struggle with how much of me, the ego self, should be present. And yet I know it is to be the Self, beyond ego who engages. Somehow I am not free yet, free enough to be there without ego attachment to the outcome. And letting go, moving beyond the Edge, the leap into the unknown brings so much uncertainty, so much fear, is beyond any trust I can find within me. I often feel so alone and yet know that I need the collective, the inter-subjective, the inter-relational, to be fully the I within the We. To fully participate, to engage beyond any personal agenda. Something in me knows this holds unlimited potential and yet I cannot seem to make the leap. This brings me back to death. What must die? To move into nothingness to discover what is there beyond ego.
The Full Moon meditation for me is always very aligned and energetically powerful. It is the power of thought, of focused intention, of vibration through thought and word aligning to shift grooves in consciousness – and I cannot know how, I will never know the result. Still I do it, energize it, and continue to radiate heightened qualitative energy to the planet. It is always an honor to participate with others in the service. I also have the sense that the field is strengthened by this meditation and we can go forward with that into the following days.
It is not only the full moon of Pisces but also a lunar eclipse. We take to bed, into the night, into our night life the question of what is behind the shadow that now wants to be revealed? What have we women been holding back that is now ready to come fully into being? Into the light?
Helen mentioned early on that what we do here can make it easier for the next group to move more deeply into collective knowing. (not her exact words, but I hope the sense). And I resonate to that, to creating new grooves in consciousness that help make the way for others, that help shift consciousness. It seems on a grander scale this is our role in conscious evolution.